Well, that was an odd weekend, among the lower lights the pounding that poor lad took for his performance at Wembley on Saturday night, the critics being desperately unkind in its aftermath. And as well as Liam Gallagher, Anthony Joshua had a bad time of it with an out-of-tune display against Daniel Dubois. Although the 96,000 crowd were probably still too dazed to notice after hearing the Saudi Arabian national anthem resounding around the stadium before a fight between two Englishmen in England. It’s stranger the world of sport is getting.
Which is why the occasional glimpse of normality is always welcome. Like Katie McCabe being prepared to risk the safety of her front teeth while throwing herself in front of an incoming Exocet missile, in this case from the boot of Manchester City’s Aoba Fujino, and celebrating her successful block like she’d just won the Lottery, World Cup and Celebrity Masterchef.
Our Sky presenter Caroline Barker promised us a zinger of a game at the Emirates Stadium, and that we got. And for those of you who pine for pre-VAR days when dodgy goals were allowed and blemish-less ones were ruled out, then the WSL is the place for you. Because there is no VAR.
So, Caitlin Foord had what appeared to be a perfectly lawful goal chalked off for offside, and our Katie was allowed, well, make contact with Chloe Kelly’s ankles, and then scoop the ball over her as she was pinned to the ground by Kim Little in what looked quite like a Greco-Roman wrestling move, before setting in train the move that led to Beth Mead’s equaliser.
“Hmmm, I think we need VAR,” said Izzy Christiansen come full-time. She was right, of course, but that might lead to the elimination of one of sport’s more entertaining sights, the perpetual incandescent rage of Arsenal gaffer Jonas Eidevall on the touchline. And we don’t want that.
That was part one of the day’s Arsenal v Manchester City double-header, part two the lads’ outing. Before Sky got down to previewing the game, the panel – even Roy Keane – congratulated Paul “Merse” Merson on his Strictly Come Dancing debut on Saturday night, while expressing disgust at one of the judges awarding him just two out of 10.
On the off chance that you missed his performance, Merse danced the American Smooth with his partner to Vindaloo by Fat Les. No, some of us have no clue either what an American Smooth is, but apparently it’s a dancey thing.
“I couldn’t recognise it as an American Smooth,” said judge Shirley Ballas, and that was one of the kinder reviews Merse received. “Fred and Ginger it wasn’t, pigeon-toed and flat footed,” said Craig Revel Horwood, while Motsi Mabuse was almost lost for words. “It was special and different, it was ... something.”
Merse beamed in appreciation of those verdicts, until his score left him second last, only Toyah Willcox faring worse. “It’s a mystery” said his dejected face.
At least he had Arsenal’s trip to Manchester to take his mind off things, although the way he was sitting in his chair to the left of Roy, Theo Walcott and Micah Richards suggested that the American Smooth had left him feeling mutilated.
Anyway, the match. It was nice and calm for the entire first seven seconds, but then Kai Havertz had a brush with Rodri and the Manchester City man fell to the floor like he’d had a run-in with an Uzi submachine gun. Thereafter, it was deliciously cranky, the high point, perhaps, when Erling Haaland asked 17-year-old debutant Myles Lewis-Skelly “who the **** are you?” Although Peter Drury repeatedly calling the Arsenal forward “Gabriel Jaysus” came close.
“It’s just been a bonkers first half,” said Micah at the break, which it was, the second half being no less gloriously barmy, Arsenal down to 10 men after Leandro Trossard had been sent off. “You just can’t give the referee a chance to give you a second yellow card after you’ve got the first,” said Roy. With a straight face. Theo, Micah and Merse just about stifled their giggles.
Arsenal hearts? On the floor. Pigeon-toed and flat footed, they allowed Mancunian Smooth John Stones get that equaliser in the 98th minute. Merse? Gutted. But not half as much as he will be if he has to do the cha-cha-cha to Sweet Caroline next Saturday.
