ALL IN THE GAME:A soccer miscellany

1"Celtic made an offer about three weeks ago – it was £3.50 and a bag of haggis, which is nowhere near enough for a player of that quality."

Which Republic of Ireland international was Aidy Boothroyd referring to?

2"For a footballer, it's embarrassing," said Bordeaux manager Jean Tigana of his winger Yoan Gouffran's unfortunate allergy.

What is it?

3"I never imagined he would ever be one of my clients. He's actually not that ugly when you're sat in front of him."

Who was the subject of this generous tribute from a woman at the centre of a tabloid kiss ’n’ tell?

4Who said: "I'm not suited to Bolton or Blackburn, I would be more suited to Inter or Real Madrid. It wouldn't be a problem to me to go and manage those clubs because I would win the double or the league every time."

5"Apart from Shay Given, I couldn't tell you one name of any player on the field. The names never register with me. That's because I'm getting on a bit."

Who admitted to being less than familiar with the current Republic of Ireland line-up?

6Who did Arsene Wenger liken to a "PlayStation player"?

7"As a valued member of the Auto Cup Scheme, we'd like to confirm details for the following FA Cup match: Liverpool v Burnley (4th Round), Saturday 23rd January 2010. Kick-off: 12.45pm. The Ticket Office will begin taking payments for the above game from Thursday 14th January."

What made this email sent out by Liverpool a touch embarrassing?

8"I was educated not to dive and cheat in England. I was taught that trying to con the referee and play-acting are not acceptable. Now I get really angry when I see other players cheating."

Who said this, with a commendably straight face?

9"We shouldn't put too much pressure on him . . . but in years to come I think he will be an Arsenal great like Liam Brady."

Who was Paul Merson referring to?

10"If he's trying to say that I should move somewhere like Stoke City and change my game to winning tackles and not winning games, then he's having a laugh."

Which Republic of Ireland player sent this particular message to Giovanni Trapattoni?

11"Only once in my life have I felt like I needed a psychiatrist . . . I was looking at Yuri Zhirkov and all I could see was a rib-eye steak."

Who made this cannibalistic confession in his autobiography?

12"If I was in Alex Ferguson's company I would tell him first off that Manchester United never knocked Liverpool off their ****ing perch, as he put it. That's nonsense. ****** ******* did that."

Who did Jamie Carragher “credit” as the author of Liverpool’s downfall?

13"It wasn't just on the field that he let himself down, during post-match interviews he became an embarrassment to himself, the club and the fans. He was arrogant, obnoxious, sarcastic, cutting and rude. He came across to me like a man who was on the borderline of insanity."

Which manager, who lost his job in October, was Bernie Slaven talking about?

14"He has an opinion on everything. There is not a subject in this world at this minute, political, religious, anything, that he does not have an opinion on. I really don't mind, I just don't want it shoved down my throat. You can get carried away with your own importance, you really can. Sometimes he does."

To whom was Martin O'Neill paying tribute?

15"As a United fan, it was for me another Good Friday agreement."

Who said this after Wayne Rooney ended hostilities with Manchester United and signed a new contract?

16"I am 50 in October and this is the toughest day of my life. This is like a kick in the face. This was a punch from Muhammad Ali. I have no more energy for anything."

Who was floored by his team's World Cup quarter-final exit?

17"I don't know what they think I'm going to do – hit them with a two-footed tackle in the fruit and veg aisles?"

Which English footballer revealed that elderly ladies he meets in supermarkets are terrified of him?

18"Yes, it is difficult to break them up because they were a beautiful couple."

Who are the Brad and Angelina of the Irish team that Giovanni Trapattoni was referring to?

19"Please God, he'll still be here in February. I don't see any way he won't be here unless someone comes up with £50 million or something for him."

Who was Harry Redknapp talking about a year ago?

20"I remember so many nights sleeping on the streets. When I look at what's happened, it's like sport's version of Cinderella. Football can change lives."

Which player, who spent some of his youth living in a homeless shelter after being abandoned by his parents, said this – and what was he referring to?

21"For the first time in many, many years I will be having roast beef for Christmas dinner rather than turkey or chicken."

Why was former England manager Graham Taylor boycotting turkey?

22"I understand why they would chant Judas at me, but if we're going to get Biblical, then maybe it should be Moses, because we led them from the wilderness."

Which manager got a less than warm welcome on his return to his previous club?

23"It's good to go a bit mad but I don't throw teacups around. That's not my style – I'd rather throw punches."

Name the manager.

24"Get up you stupid little boy . . . you've been s***e, son, in your daft pink boots – absolute rubbish."

Sky Sports' Richard Keys didn't realise his comments could be heard on air when he was castigating which England international?

25Whose World Cup exit was BBC Radio's David Pleat referring to when he declared: "Au revoir!"

Answers

1Coventry City goalkeeper Keiren Westwood. 2Grass. 3Wayne Rooney. 4Sam Allardyce. 5Jack Charlton. 6Lionel Messi. 7The email was sent out to season ticket holders two hours before Liverpool were knocked out in the third round by Reading. 8Cristiano Ronaldo. 9Jack Wilshere. 10Darron Gibson. 11Chelsea manager Carlo Ancelotti. 12Graeme Souness. 13Gordon Strachan. 14Arsene Wenger. 15Bertie Ahern. 16Diego Maradona on Argentina's 4-0 defeat by Germany in the World Cup quarter-finals. 17John Terry. 18Glenn Whelan and Keith Andrews. 19Robbie Keane. 20Bebe after joining Manchester United. 21It was Taylor's protest against Sam Allardyce's sacking by Blackburn's Indian poultry tycoon owners. 22Owen Coyle after returning to Burnley with Bolton. 23Roy Keane. 24Theo Walcott. 25Italy.