Miriam Lord: Question of succession a burning issue at Fine Gael’s think-in

The think-in season is in full swing now with political parties flaunting united fronts in hotels and conference halls around the country. But blanket bonhomie can be a strain for politicians so media exposure is carefully controlled.

Muster a few heavyweights for a couple of short question and answer sessions and then retreat behind closed doors for the duration. That’s as much as anyone can expect from these dull and very stage-managed events.

Fine Gael met in Kilkenny on Friday and couldn’t even reveal details of their schedule. The traditional first night soiree was abandoned.

Instead, the politicians and their advisers decamped to a nearby hotel for their dinner while journalists were directed to dine separately at the venue. Fraternising with the hacks is now verboten in windy Fine Gael, it would seem.

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All very Upstairs Downstairs.

And how serendipitous it was for them to be billeted in the King’s Banqueting Suite on the very first day of the reign of King Charles lll. Or King Char-les de Turd, as may be innocently pronounced by many in this country – an unfortunate turn for Anglo-Irish relations.

[ Sinn Féin government will leave Ireland ‘out of the tent’ in Europe, says Varadkar at FG think-in ]

Best of all, though, was the confusion over the length of this think-in.

Was it a one-day or a two-day event? It appeared suspiciously like attempts were being made to steer the press-pack away from the Government party’s second day in the Ormonde Hotel, which was enthusiastically sold as some minor gig for mere county councillors and the like. Certainly not of much interest to political correspondents, although the Tánaiste, his Ministers, TDs, Senators and MEPs were sticking around for it.

One can never be too sure what a disgruntled local representative might say to a passing microphone or how many national names might feel the urge to grandstand in front of constituency sidekicks.

With Queen Elizabeth dying rather inconveniently the day before Fine Gael’s first big set-piece of the new Dáil season, the question of succession was a burning issue in Kilkenny. Nothing to do with the sad event in Balmoral and all about who will get what Cabinet job when Fianna Fáil leader Micheál Martin hands over the taoiseach’s crown to Leo Varadkar in December.

Minister for Foreign Affairs Simon Coveney, wheeled out with Minister for Social Protection Heather Humphreys and Minister for Higher Education Simon Harris for the second and last media doorstep of the day, was primed to hold forth on weighty issues related to his portfolio. Not least having another new Secretary for Northern Ireland landed in on top of him.

“I’m sure I’m going to get on well with him,” said Coveney, wanly, when asked about the latest arrival, staunch Brexiteer and self-proclaimed “fierce Eurosceptic” Chris Heaton-Harris.

But for the most part, he was assailed with questions over his own future after Micheál abdicates in favour of Leo.

A suitable Cabinet post will have to be found for the outgoing taoiseach and it has been said that he wouldn’t mind a little stint in Iveagh House. Would Simon give up a job he so clearly adores to help out an incoming tánaiste?

Judging by his carefully polite reply, his boss Varadkar will have to dynamite him out the door first.

And then there is that other vexed question: “Whither Paschal?”

Supporters of the Minister for Finance (who was not at the think-in because he was in Europe wearing his President of the Eurogroup of finance ministers hat) have been strenuously pushing the line that it would be unwise to move Paschal Donohoe from his moneybags role in Merrion Street because Ireland would lose the prestigious Eurogroup presidency.

Heather, sandwiched between the two Simons, agreed with her ministerial colleagues that Paschal is a great Minister for Finance. But none of them wanted in any way to pressurise Fianna Fáil into keeping Michael McGrath at the Department of Public Expenditure for the sake of the greater glory of Ireland and Paschal Donohoe. Oh, no.

Perhaps they can do some sort of twist on the old Cold War practice of exchanging hostages on neutral ground. McGrath to stay put in exchange for Coveney handing his job over to Micheál Martin at midnight in the middle of The Shakey Bridge in Cork. And then Paschal to get his pick of the rest or a big position in Brussels.

The party has taken up the Sinn Féin practice of wearing lapel badges. All Ministers and TDs allowed in front of the cameras wore little “Michael Collins 22” buttons. John Paul Phelan, the local TD who welcomed his colleagues to the Marble City and was thus entitled to join the gilded doughnut of Tánaiste Varadkar, Minister for Justice Helen McEntee and party chairman Richard Bruton (fresh from celebrating 40 years in the Dáil at a bash in Clontarf Castle earlier this week) pinned his Collins badge to his tie.

In this first officially sanctioned mingle with the media, the Tánaiste took every opportunity to plug his new favourite phrase, one which has clearly been sent out to all party members with instructions to use as much possible. People must be aware, he stressed, that it would be foolish and dangerous to give in to Opposition demands for a spending splurge in the next budget. Sinn Féin wants the Government “to empty the tank” now, but with an uncertain economic future in prospect, long-time planning is all about “making sure we keep something in the tank”.

In fact, if they took the Sinn Féin approach to economics, not only would the tank be empty but they would “wreck the economy and make the cake smaller for everybody”.

This was why this think-in was so important, he said. “It’s going to be about really helping people with the cost of living, making sure people have money in their pockets.”

Helen couldn’t agree more. “This is an important gathering.” Richard Bruton concurred. “It’s a really important meeting for Fine Gael.”

Beware of Sinn Féin, repeated Varadkar. “What they are really saying is ‘empty the tank’ and that’s a really bad strategy. I know from the other crises that we’ve had to lead the country through that you have to leave something in the tank.”

And when Mary Lou and her chums aren’t siphoning off the national diesel they are devouring the national cake.

Not to be confused with the “nice Madeira” served after lunch to the politicians after they dined apart in the hotel restaurant.

The queen was mentioned just once and the Tánaiste was delighted to talk about her great devotion to duty. She had a very demanding and difficult job which was not as wonderful as might have been imagined.

“People grew up wanting to be a prince or princess” but the reality was different, he mused. Did he grow up dreaming about little Prince Leo?

“No, I grew up wanting to be taoiseach” he replied.

So did Bertie Ahern. He wrote an essay about it in primary school.

Former minister Micheal Ring was conspicuous by his absence. Some suspected he was keeping his powder dry until the next parliamentary party meeting as the Mayo TD isn’t a great fan of the way the party is run from Dublin at the moment. Also missing was former minister Charlie Flanagan, who was at a conference in Poland and probably none too upset to have missed the Kilkenny gathering.

When Heather and the two Simons were directed to have their mid-afternoon press briefing outside in the courtyard, Heather thought it should go back undercover as it was starting to rain.

“Oh, I think we’ll be alright,” murmured Simon Coveney.

“It’s alright for you” declared the Minister for Social Protection and the Protection of New Blow-dries, “You’ve no hair to get wet!”

A group of fifth year students from nearby St Kieran’s College gathered in the hope of getting selfies with some political luminaries. Arron Russell, Finn Drennan, Harry Lanigan and Andy O’Connor also brought along hurleys and sliotars. The Simons and Heather posed with them and Simon Harris explained about the “BeReal” phenomenon which has youngsters snapping photographs with well known people to share on the app.

The doorstep was disrupted by a protest march by local council workers protesting about changes to their work conditions. “Irish Water: Out! Out! Out!” they chanted, discommoding the Ministers with a blast from the past as they scuttled In! In! In!

Isn’t it great to be back?