When dating apps like Tinder and Hinge arrived on the scene more than ten years ago, they represented a new exciting frontier in the world of online dating. Daters could swipe right or left through what appeared to be a never-ending stream of potential partners, what’s not to love?
But now more than a decade later, the novelty of the apps for many would-be-daters has worn off, replaced instead by burnout and fatigue. Users complain of the apps becoming more gamified in order to keep you swiping and a frustrating increase in the number of catfish profiles.
According to Irish Times relationship advice columnist Roe McDermott, it’s also the lack of effort that people put into their profiles that contributes to this sense of dating app fatigue. “I lived in the States for a while and I have to say Irish people are terrible on the apps,” she tells The Irish Times Women’s Podcast as Valentine’s weekend approaches.
Speaking to podcast presenter Róisín Ingle, McDermott says some of it comes down to Ireland’s lack of dating culture. “We had a ‘will ya meet my mate’, let’s get tipsy and score in the pub culture…so I think for Irish people, the idea of saying very openly, I want to meet someone, I want to find love feels vulnerable”.
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This lack of effort, McDermott says, then becomes a cycle. “I think people go on the apps, they see empty profiles, they get really boring messages and then they have people who don’t read their profiles or don’t respond. It creates a sense of cynicism that stops them putting effort and thought into their use of it”.
So what’s the advice for those experiencing app burnout? It could be getting off the apps and back into real life through organised dating events and meetups. In this episode McDermott tells Ingle about some alternative dating options on offer in Ireland, from singles running clubs to mindful dating events. She also speaks about how AI has infiltrated the dating scene and how it can be both a help and a hindrance.
To listen back to this wide ranging conversation on the singles scene, listen back in the player above or wherever you get your podcasts.
