NEWTON'S OPTIC:I DO hope that nice Mr Lenihan isn't planning to raise the fee on second homes. There are 260,000 such properties in the Republic so it would be foolish to assume that all their owners are wealthy. In fact quite a few are Sunday newspaper columnists, which suggests a distinctly lower-middle-class demographic.
Perhaps I should declare an interest here. Like most ordinary working people from Portadown, I own a four-bedroom detached holiday home in Dunfanaghy, or Costa del Proddo as the remaining natives call it.
Why should I be penalised for investing in Ireland? I could have saved the stamp duty and bought an apartment in Vulgaria and where would Mr Lenihan’s finances be then?
Donegal has benefited from my entrepreneurial spirit in so many ways. For a start, the house had to be built and we all know how much house-building contributed to the Celtic Tiger.
Then the local authority had to put in roads and services.
Then the National Roads Authority had to upgrade the N14 through Letterkenny so that the entire population of Portadown could get up and back every weekend. That N14 upgrade is even in the National Development Plan, which just proves how much of a contribution investors like me are making.
And our contribution doesn’t end there. Long after they are built, second homes continue providing much-needed local employment. We pay a lovely little man called Fearghal (that’s Gaelic for Fergus) to look after the house. Fergus says he often feels like the only person in town during the week, so just imagine what Dunfanaghy would be like if the holiday homes had never been built.
Like many second-property owners, I also see our house as a pension. You can try seeing your pension as a house instead but you just end up squinting at the envelope.
Before deciding to see the house as a pension, I spoke to a financial adviser. He said: “Historically, despite all the risk and hassle, long-term returns on property barely cover inflation.”
So I went to another financial adviser who said: “Prices will double every year forever.”
Of course, that turned out to be a slight exaggeration and I am now searching for tenants.
Like many second-property owners I don’t really see myself as a landlord. You can try seeing yourself as a landlord but you just end up squinting at the mirror.
However, mostly I don’t see myself as a landlord because new-build holiday homes are impossible to rent out.
Fergus explained it all the other day. Something about “hundreds of weird wee open-plan boxes five miles from the nearest shop and 40 miles from the nearest job”. At least, I think that’s what he said. Maybe he was speaking Gaelic.
In any case, it would be a bit rich of Mr Lenihan to charge me more for trying to look after myself. All I want is to be left alone to make returns with no risk from a publicly serviced tax-free benefit in kind.
Yet listening to some people you would almost think Ireland’s problems were caused by borrowing money from banks to treat houses as pensions.
Frankly, this looks like the politics of envy. Although I suppose that is easy enough to understand.
Who wouldn’t envy a man with a holiday home in Dunfanaghy?