OPINION:David Cameron might think he can appeal cost-free to aged colonels by being nice to the nicer unionists, writes Fionnuala O Connor
AS THEY gear themselves up for government, British Conservatives pause to rekindle the old bond with Ulster Unionists. What could David Cameron be thinking? No, not a merger, Sir Reg Empey confirmed after they met this week in Birmingham. The leader of the shrunken Ulster Unionists called it more a question of "co-operation and what we can offer the electorate together".
In full Tory conference mode, however, Cameron thought the "new force" produced by talks with Ulster Unionism would allow people to vote for "national parties". This would give them "a chance to make Northern Ireland politics less sectarian".
Now what would sectarianism have to do with it? Those last two words strengthen what nationalists - at least those beginning to examine today's Conservatives - instinctively suspect, that the Tory leader has no feel for the agreement underpinning the new Stormont. Or worse, that he chooses not to accept that Sinn Féin and the SDLP are in a Belfast administration on the basis that Irish nationalism has equal status with British unionism.
Why would Irish nationalists in this new North want to vote for the British Conservative Party - or indeed for the British Labour party? The chief inspiration appears to be Lord Trimble, who last year joined the Conservatives but as plain Mr Trimble led Ulster Unionists into catastrophic defeat in Assembly and Westminster elections, including rejection in his own constituency.
The talks between Cameron's and Sir Reg's parties must already have revealed the UU belief - not entirely fair - that its former leader's lack of political skills are to blame for their current weakness.
Tories impressed by his Nobel Peace prize may have overestimated the Trimble clout back home. They can hardly overlook his legacy: the Westminster line-out of nine DUP MPs to a single Ulster Unionist.
Why would an ascendant Cameron ally with a spent force? There is no sign of UU regeneration. The DUP looks set to dominate the (dozen at most) majority-unionist seats. The present project only seems likely to aggravate the majority of unionists, and nationalists.
The most likely explanation is that Cameron sees in the talks a potential strengthening of his hand. A moderniser regarded by traditionalists as hostile to Conservative core values - though they will give him leeway while he continues to make Gordon Brown look old and weak - he might think he can appeal cost-free to aged colonels by being nice to the nicer unionists.
He might also have intended a nip at the DUP, who propped up Gordon Brown, after all, by voting with Labour on the proposal to extend detention for 42 days.
Today's top Tories also shudder, it is said, at the language used about homosexuality by Iris Robinson, wife of the DUP leader. The smooth chaps around Cameron could scarcely warm to the DUP's line-up of homophobes, creationists and sceptics on global warming.
The idea of Tories bonding with Sir Reg's rearguard echoes nothing so much as the short-lived notion of a Fianna Fáil link with a diminished SDLP - perhaps a merger, perhaps a more limited electoral pact. The project disappeared without trace when Brian Cowen became leader.
The best bet was that Bertie Ahern saw it simply as another reminder to Sinn Féin that it could forget rivalry with Fianna Fáil and any comeback as contenders for a serious Southern vote. He was deaf to the complaint that an arrangement with the SDLP would make it impossible for Fianna Fáil to play an impartial government role in the North. Cameron is equally dismissive.
Northern Ireland Tories have made a pitiable run as a separate grouping, but surely the mother party would do better to retain them as token presence - not that much different to Conservatives in present-day Scotland and Wales - and at least be able to claim neutrality as referee in government.
It has always been Northern unionists who most distrusted the Tories. Ted Heath removed their Stormont parliament,while Margaret Thatcher did crush the republican hunger-strike, although that turned into victory for Sinn Féin. She also took the feet from under unionists by elevating the Republic's role in Northern affairs in the Anglo-Irish Agreement. Until the arrival of Tony Blair, many unionists saw the Tories as their most bitter enemies because the old Conservative-Unionist alliance had become betrayal. Between that, and the fear of splitting the vote and enabling nationalists to retain such seats as South Belfast and Fermanagh-South Tyrone, even considering alliance with Cameron makes some splutter in bewilderment.
To date, the sole Ulster Unionist MP has stayed aloof from the plan. Lady Sylvia Hermon's coolness may keep her closer to mainstream party opinion than its leadership - if she holds her nerve. And why not?
Her North Down majority is probably as immovable as the ancient quarrel between unionism and nationalism, which Cameron translates as mere "sectarianism".