Powerful names to conjure with in Libya's transitional council

NEWTON'S OPTIC:Western rebel leader Ihn Dhakenny is more or less in charge

WHO’S who in Libya’s National Transitional Council? We take a look at the rebel leaders who have suddenly found themselves in power.

Ihn Dhakenny

After spending most of his adult life in various forms of exile, Ihn strikes many Libyans as a man from an earlier age, like the 1970s. Not being from the capital also counts against him.

However, he is now recognised by the international community as being more or less in charge, at least in an interim caretaker capacity. Once the fighting subsides he must somehow hold together his unwieldy coalition of intellectuals, nomads, rival tribes and religious fanatics.

Mi-Khal Noor’nan

Long thought to be the financial brains behind the uprising, Mi-Khal has the unenviable task of reminding Libyans that their debts have not expired with the old regime. Unfortunately, Islamic grooming and banking both make it difficult to get a decent haircut.

Imran Ghal-Moor

Represents the urban professionals and academics who make up 0.01 per cent of Libya’s population, but who also make 99.99 per cent of the internet postings on which nearly all western reporting now relies. Unlikely to have any real influence on political trends but very likely to keep trending on Twitter.

Jaan Bur’tan

Civil war has injured a large number of people and even more are just, you know, a bit stressed by it all. Most of these people must be put back to work if the country is ever to recover.

As a professional designer of forms for the former ministry of forms, Jaan will be devising a test to determine who is actually sick and who is just a fakir.

Faranziz Fiza-Jerald

Demonstrating that a woman can have a prominent role in the progressive new Libya, Faranziz has been given full responsibility for the serious policy issues of women, children, young people, childcare, equality, couscous pie and kittens.

These were under the portfolio for Arab culture and Bedouin languages but that all had to be given to a man, obviously.

Al-An Sha’tar

Demonstrating that a Jew can have a prominent role in the progressive new Libya. As long as he doesn’t mention Israel, obviously.

Ruhari Qur’in

Represents the council’s secular faction, which is larger than the internet faction but still not large enough to trust Al-An Sha’tar. A lifelong Arab socialist, Ruhari plans to remove Gadafy’s Little Green Book from all schools and colleges and replace it with a little red book in a plain cover.

Paht Rabat

Tasked with managing Libya’s natural resources, Paht will have to protect the legacy of the revolution from dozens of stupid oil-related conspiracy theories.

In fact, Libya’s oil reserves are a geopolitical irrelevance. It is the country’s solar power potential that got the Bilderberg group to order a Nato invasion.

Kahleem El-Ynch

Although a former member of Gadafy’s Arab Workers Party, Kahleem was not involved in shipping weapons to the IRA. That of course was a different time, a different IRA and a different ship.

Nor was anyone in the El-Ynch clan involved in anything similar, despite what it might say in the files of the secret police.

But Kahleem did come up with the name “National Transitional Council”, after objecting to “National Provisional Council” most vociferously.