Sir, - Gotcha, Veronica! Gotcha, Michelle! What a week for begrudgers.
Veronica, there was an understandable delay in getting you. After all, you could have jumped up and used your superior skills to hit back. Care had to be taken that you were well and truly dead. You could have been pretending to be dead as a publicity stunt, and you could have forged or embellished your curriculum mortis.
So, Michelle. How many times did they have to test you? And they found that your sample was "contaminated" and "contained a trace of a precursor of testosterone?" Well, that's that . . . at least we know the contaminant wasn't their urine anyway. - Yours, etc., Patrick M. Kelly,
Tanderageebane, Co Monaghan.