‘If the presidency vanished tomorrow, the only crisis would be who gets custody of the biscuit tin’

Sir, – Ireland’s presidency is the ultimate zero-hours contract – no power, no responsibility, and yet a salary that could fund a hospital ward.

The role boils down to cutting ribbons, blessing sandwiches, and looking grave at funerals – not exactly a constitutional cornerstone.

We already have a Taoiseach to govern, a Tánaiste to steady the wheel, and a Dáil to keep things interesting. The president adds nothing but an ornate squiggle at the bottom of Bills, like the ceremonial doodle of a very well-paid notary.

So, let’s be honest – we don’t need a president. Keep the garden parties, keep the photogenic dogs, even keep the Áras – but the rest we can cheerfully retire. If the presidency vanished tomorrow, the only crisis would be who gets custody of the biscuit tin. – Yours, etc,