TIMES SQUARE: The letters page of this newspaper has of late become more of a family thing.
It is rather insidious. Not long ago we had wife and husband Antoinette Clancy and Martin O'Boyle politely conferring with each other in print for the edification of the nation (or at least of Irish Times readers) about the ups and downs of retirement and the share-out of domestic chores.
That (in itself) was fairly harmless, though it was shocking to hear that Martin had been advised by one man, re his wife's attitude to chores, to "sell off the lazy mott at a knockdown price" (It seems he neglected to follow this casual but no doubt well-meant advice).
Things became more fraught some days later when Father David O'Hanlon decided to inform readers that ecumenism was a "dead duck". Ticked off by a number of subsequent writers, he was given the coup de grace by a clergyman from Kent: "Please, David, grow up".
The writer, Dr Joseph O'Hanlon, then pointed out that "readers should know that David is my nephew".
I am sorry to say that after this, things got out of hand entirely. To start with, we had a perfectly sensible letter about benchmarking and the ASTI from a young woman in Tobbercurry.
This then drew a scurrilous reply from a lady in Cloonfad, who hardly mentioned benchmarking, but cast aspersions on the young woman's state of mind, her political affiliations, her teaching qualifications, her cooking skills, her supposedly excessive use of make-up and most shockingly, her apparent infertility ("Please, Geraldine, try motherhood").
The writer then casually mentioned that the young woman was her daughter-in-law.
Reluctantly, we allowed this into print, unaware that we were encouraging an unhealthy trend.
In no time at all we were then inundated with letters purportedly about important matters like racism, Liam Lawlor, the various tribunals and the payment of ewe premiums.
On closer inspection, however, we discovered that entire families were invading our letters pages with the sole intent of stirring up their own private rows and generally causing trouble likely to continue down the generations.
Things are not going to be allowed carry on like this.
We must point out that the letters page is not a family forum in which private grievances may be aired, complaints filed, insinuations made and revenge taken.
As a national newspaper we have standards to maintain. We are not the washeteria for the nation's dirty linen.
So, please keep your letters short and to the point. Include telephone numbers (day and evening) along with full address. And state clearly your relationship to the writers you take issue with.
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Instead of letting the late Princess Margaret rest in peace, the media have continued to put it about that the princess was an unhappy woman because she did not have a "role" in life.
Leaving aside the enormous amount of drivel written about the poor woman by people who never knew or even met her, this "role" notion needs sorting out.
The commentators - all self-styled Royal correspondents for the interim - insisted that Princess Margaret resented her older sister's position as Queen and spent her entire life trying to find something to do, on the rare occasions when she was not partying in Mustique.
If this is true, it represents a sad state of affairs. There is (absolutely) no need for anyone to have a role in life. Indeed, there is evidence all about that the acquisition of a role does no good for anyone's health or happiness.
When did you last see Queen Elizabeth smile? The notion of the necessary role arises from (the worst excesses of) pop psychology, which cannot bear the idea of people simply "being", rather than being somebody - never mind being somebody famous.
(It is also responsible for the entirely useless and needlessly upsetting quest for "identity" which so many people embark on with no good reason and which inevitably ends in tears).
We have all heard the assertion that life is not a dress rehearsal; but neither is it a play. We must resist the pressure to become characters or assume roles, and learn simply to be.
We must cease our foolish and misguided and ultimately doomed efforts to find out who we supposedly are.
Our aim (without actually "taking" aim) in life must be stasis, a form of Zen abstraction, happy inertia and languor. The paradox is that we are obliged to strive so hard in order to achieve it.
My own belief is that Princess Margaret entered into this rare state of grace many years ago.
She therefore became a heroine (in this field) to stand worthily alongside that other admirable non-doer, Bartley the Scrivener.