Kathy Sheridan: Independent TDs need to wake up to the reality of running the country

Politicians can make a comeback from disgrace. Of course they can. In the UK, they comprise most of the current cabinet. Our chief exhibit is Michael Lowry, former chairman of Fine Gael, then barred from the party, he was forced to resign his ministry, called to resign his Dáil seat by an all-party vote and through it all, he topped the Tipperary poll in every general election for about 30 years because he and his constituents “are faithful to each other”.

And there he was on Monday, looking relaxed and summery in a smart jacket and jeans leaning on a picturesque old bridge down the town, just another perplexed Independent of the Regional Technical Group demanding that Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil get on with it and set a deadline for a government. Why of course, Deputy Lowry, just as soon as we’ve polished off this little pandemic, war-gamed Britain’s flight to Brexitland and dealt with that really neat, three-way election verdict handed down by the people just a few weeks ago, sir. But just so you can have a wee bit of context before you decide whether to sashay back into government, Paschal Donohoe promised what RTÉ called a “warts and all analysis of the economy and its future prospects”.

It arrived yesterday in the form of the Stability Pact Update. With Covid-19 emergency measures costing us nearly €1 billion a week there was no “and all”; just warts. “Future prospects”? Warts. What we will have is an earth-bound version of Airplane!, the spoof disaster movie, minus the laughs and Otto, the inflatable automatic pilot doll – unless you’re volunteering for the job, sir.

Running a country

Which could very well be the case. In the absence so far of the third party so earnestly desired by Fine Gael, the 20 Independents are the ones in for “constructive discussions”. They include such luminaries as Verona Murphy, Noel Grealish, Mattie McGrath, the Healy-Raes, a few abortion refuseniks, a couple with hospitals at the top of the campaign list – and Lowry of course. Not that there is anything wrong with convictions – far worse to have none – but the one thing nearly all have in common is the immutable supremacy of the constituency, which is fine if you have no particular desire to run the country. The first group on Monday, headed by Denis Naughten and including Grealish, Lowry and Murphy, announced it wants in as “equal partners”.

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How would that go down with the “radical change of direction” scenario suggested by a third of the election day exit poll, or even the change of government desired by half? But first, what price reliability ? Last time round, a big sweetener for the co-operating Independents was first dibs at announcing constituency goodies and a few ministries. This time apparently, they’ve been promised a say in the drafting of the new development plan for roads, hospitals and schools. This would be an acid test of long-term thinking. How many in the entire Dáil are capable of that?

I, for one, would like to acknowledge what an absolute mindmelt this must be for everyone concerned. Only two months ago, the economic recovery was just an irritation for most voters, according to the exit poll. Two-thirds felt it hadn’t done anything for them personally, although logic suggests that a whirring economy implies more work and certainty at some level. Asked to name their single biggest concern, a third named health, unsurprisingly (given the age profile of the voters), but it still seems amazing that only a quarter picked housing/homelessness, despite its near-monopoly of discourse at every level. That other major talking point, childcare, was the priority of only 3 per cent. Climate change and jobs were uppermost for just six in 100, ranked the same as “something else”.

‘Endless effort’

The backroom exchanges within the various factions and parties right now must be riveting. How many of them carry a copy of Leo Varadkar’s remarks, delivered a couple of weeks ago at Total Produce, a fruit and vegetable distribution company in north Dublin (not Keelings, sadly for all the conspiracy theorists out there): “The kinds of decisions that are going to be taken in the next couple of months and in the next couple of years to get the country going again, aren’t going to be easy. They’re not going to be popular. We’re not going to be offering people incentives or concessions or pork for constituencies to come on board. All we’re offering people here willing to join a government is endless effort, constant criticism, disappointment . . .”

So there it is to be recited four times daily. Whatever happens next, the spinners’ spinner can never be accused of camouflaging these particular warts. Paschal Donohoe’s analysis has only added more zeros to them. None of it has seeped into our bones yet because we’re too busy making banana bread, remembering to press the mute button or not murdering a family member.

The abstract feel to it all is compounded by the Taoiseach’s insistence that there will be no tax increases or benefit cuts. We can only assume he was busy diagnosing the disastrous food-poisoning breakout in Airplane! when he came up with that.

But let’s be clear about one thing. For all the negative commentary directed at both Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil, they own the narrative right now for one reason only. It has been handed to them by a Dáil majority. That’s correct: a Dáil majority. Good luck to everyone.