History in the making as official account runs 600% over budget

NEWTON'S OPTIC:Long-awaited publication is almost ready for the shelves

IN RECENT months we have received some criticism here at the Office of Public Sector Work for commissioning an official history that is running nine years late and 600 per cent over budget.

“How can you spend €400,000 on a book that nobody will read?” is a question we have often been asked. Obviously we are not in the business of responding to people who admit they don’t read, just as we are barely in the business of responding to Freedom of Information Act requests from the press.

However, we are now pleased to report that our official history will be published this year, or next year at the latest. We will certainly be appointing a team of editors to look into releasing what we have, perhaps by splitting it into several volumes or serialising it in a council newsletter.

Or we might just print the index and call it a “reference guide”.

Whatever is decided, there is no doubt that an official history of the Office of Public Sector Work will be the finest publication of some description on the history of a minor quango ever produced to the best of our knowledge.

This exciting announcement is also a chance to respond to our critics, none of whom understands the difficulties of a project of this magnitude or even the difficulties of assessing its magnitude. What these people do not realise is that we had a load of boxes in the basement and going through them all took absolutely ages.

“Shouldn’t you have noticed it was taking ages?” is another question we are often asked. Well, of course we noticed. That’s why we kept extending the contract.

But the good news – and it is very important to emphasise this – is that far from wasting money, going through all those boxes actually saved money.

If we had paid someone just to archive the material it would have cost an estimated €399,990 so the true cost of the official history works out at only a tenner.

In the meantime, while we wait for that history to be published in some form or another, the archives are proving extremely valuable to us for other projects. They will be even more valuable when we put them on our website for everyone to use, which will definitely happen. We don’t have any means of accounting for this value but you may assume it is in the order of €399,990.

“Are there any other ways in which this project is in fact a great success?” is a question we are never asked, which is why it is doubly important that we take this opportunity to answer it. Since deciding to commission our official history we have not decided to decommission it, representing a decision-making efficiency of 100 per cent. If you do not understand this then you do not understand how the public sector works.

Sadly, even after all these achievements plus any more we can think of during further delays, there are still those who simply will not be satisfied until they see some sort of book. So I suppose we will just have to give them a book.

But first, we really must commission an official coffee table.