Here, from another world, is the news of war in FF

There is a theory that there is an infinite number of universes where every possible version of reality exists

There is a theory that there is an infinite number of universes where every possible version of reality exists. These would vary from the profoundly different - what would happen if the Dinosaurs hadn't got a belt of a meteor 65 million years ago? - to the mundane - how things would be altered if you collected your drycleaning a day late last month.

I'm beginning to believe this theory. What I'm wondering about is which alternate reality the newspapers, TV and radio stations are produced in and how they transport the finished product here.

There is a peculiar way in which events are interpreted by the media. It simply isn't the same way that you or I would interpret them. To say you disagree with something becomes "a blistering attack" and you end up "delivering a salvo" or just "slam" whatever it was. This ratcheting up of the emotional temperature is allied to a peculiar form of logic that focuses on disagreements and conflict rather than the facts.

Let me give you an example. On Monday Charlie McCreevy was launching a roadshow designed to let people know about the euro. He was asked about the stream of allegations and rumours hitting the Government. He pointed out that the current Taoiseach was being very open and helpful with the media, perhaps too open and helpful, and that if he took John Bruton's approach as Taoiseach of only releasing an occasional statement he might find himself getting into less trouble.

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That looks to me like the Minister was praising the Taoiseach for his openness, his willingness to answer whatever question was put to him. It was also a dig at John Bruton for his relatively unco-operative behaviour when he held the office.

When Albert Reynolds was Taoiseach he devoted more time to the media than any other Irish head of government. And his opinion poll ratings dropped because of the occasional wellreported gaffe.

John Bruton did not spend much time on the media and, following a brief period of resentment, the journalists headed off to get their stories elsewhere. His opinion poll ratings soared. Back to the Minister for Finance. He makes this point, and figures he has done a nice job of supporting his Taoiseach. He has scored some party political points with the faithful, and everything's fine.

But he reckoned without the fuzzy logic that would be applied. His statement was reported as an attack on the Taoiseach. Charlie was portrayed as having told his boss to shut up.

The Taoiseach was in Paris at a meeting dealing with the future funding Ireland will receive from the European Union. Afterwards he met the press and they put it to him that the Minister for Finance had criticised his openness with the media.

Naturally enough, Bertie did not react terribly well to it. He rejected the supposed reproach, pointing out that he was committed to openness in government and a vital part of that was openness with the media.

Monday's TV and radio shows and Tuesday's papers then devoted a large amount of space to coverage of the "disagreement" between the Taoiseach and his Minister for Finance.

But the bizarre logic wasn't finished there. Having reinterpreted Charlie McCreevy's comments into an attack on his party leader it was now time to set about a spot of speculation. Specifically that this was the "opening salvo" of a leadership coup. That the Minister for Finance was carefully positioning himself to take advantage of the current political unrest and Bertie's own difficulties with the allegations levelled at him. In the space of 48 hours we had moved from a supportive remark to outright rebellion.

There will be the customary "no smoke without fire" reaction. People will have filed the events in the back of their minds, and the relationship between the two men will always have a small question mark attached to it.

So long as they have no further reasons to "disagree" that won't be a problem. Should they differ in the future you'll find Monday's events regurgitated as evidence of a "pattern". And don't be surprised if Charlie ends up being branded a "stalking horse" or something equally malevolent.

The real damage done by this particular "ball of smoke" was that it obscured two important news items. The changeover to the euro will affect all of us profoundly. Charlie McCreevy had been launching an information roadshow that will travel the country to let people know what is going to happen over the next year and a half. Bertie Ahern had been in Paris negotiating for funds from the EU for the country. Billions of pounds . . . sorry, euros . . . were at stake.

But both items suffered from a serious problem. They were important, but not as interesting as a good fight, no matter how unreal.

I have spent a lot of time this week with Fianna Fail party members and those with no association with the party. Both groups were angry because they had noticed something that Albert Reynolds once described as a form of racism. That there is a guilt by assumption attached to Fianna Fail. Whether it takes the form of positive stories being buried by imaginary conflicts or the more straightforward assumption that all Fianna Failers are fierce keen to get their hands on brown-paper bags full of cash. Yes, some members of the party have been caught behaving badly.

But it is simply not valid to extrapolate from that to a global dismissal of a massive group of people. If the same assumption were to be made about a specific ethnic group or other minority, those making it would be rightly pilloried. This automatic guilty verdict has caused the current Government to spend an obscene amount of time proving that the allegations being made against it are false.

Consequently, the business of running the country has suffered. Not so much in its execution but very clearly in its perception. Examine the newspapers and news programmes of the past year. You will find plenty of coverage examining what happened under previous governments and previous leaders. Plenty of coverage of the personalities involved in politics, but very little on what has been achieved, what the Government is actually doing.

I have no objection to the tribunals being reported, but so many pages and minutes of airtime each day is unwarranted, particularly at the expense of the issues that matter right now.