MAGPIE:AND NOW that the G20 have sorted out the global recession, here's the other news you've all been waiting for...
According to The Booksellermagazine the prize for oddest book title of 2008 was awarded to The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-milligram Containers of Fromage Fraisby Philip M Parker, thanks to a late surge in popularity. Parker's book (available on Amazon for a whopping $795 – wow!) claimed first place with 32 per cent of the 5,034 votes cast on bookseller.com. Baboon Metaphysicscame second with 22 per cent and Curbside Consultation of the Colonran in a close third with 18 per cent.
The prize was invented at the Frankfurt Book Fair in 1978 by exhibitors keen to avoid boredom. Some notable past winners have included Bombproof Your Horse(2004), Butterworths Corporate Manslaughter Service(2001), and Reusing Old Graves(1995).
Horace Bent of The Booksellersaid of Parker's triumph: "Given that three times in the 21st century the public have crowned somewhat vulgar titles the winner ( High Performance Stiffened Structures, Living with Crazy Buttocksand, most recently, If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start with Your Legs), I assumed either Strip and Knit with Styleor Curbside Consultation of the Colonwould pick up the 2008 award. But I'm thrilled the public steered clear of smut and bestowed the prize on Professor Parker's worthy winner."
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Doing nothing to dispel the image of beauty pageant winners as being rather er, shall we say challenged upstairs . . . Miss Universe, Dayana Mendoza of Venezuela (pictured left), visited Dick Cheney’s Guantánamo hell hole torture camp the other day and gushed about it all over her blog. “This week, Guantanamo!!! It was an incredible experience,” wrote the 22 year old. “We had a wonderful time, this truly was a memorable trip!”
Hmmmm. Memorable yes. One might expect that. But why such a good time Dayana, why?
“It was a loooot of fun!,” went the blog. “We visited the Detainees [sic] camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how the(y) recreate themselves with movies, classes of art, books. It was very interesting.”
Sounds like a regular Caribbean holiday camp, eh? Dayana thought so.
“The water in Guantanamo Bay is soooo beautiful! It was unbelievable . . . I didn’t want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful.”
Sweet divine; you couldn’t make it up, could you? The blog entry has since been removed.
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ON the off-chance that you don't fully understand, like, don't really appreciate all the nuances of inter-galactic master of the universe finance, as practised by that nice man Bernie Madoff, see the Sesame Street explanation at www.youtube.com/watch?v=XJ8OjAB_e3g
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A POLISH MP who failed a drink-driving test has claimed it was because he had eaten too many apples. Marek Latas denied having drunk any alcohol , according to the newspaper Gazeta Wyborcza. When asked why a test showed 0.7 units of alcohol in his blood, he said: "I am diabetic, I ate a few apples before driving."
Mr Latas, of the opposition Law and Justice Party, added: “I have been involved in no accident, I underwent a routine roadside check. I was confident there was no chance I had alcohol in my blood.” In Poland, the legal limit is 0.2 units.
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A Norwegian baby has been baptised by a priest using lemon cola because the church’s taps were frozen. Priest Paal Dale improvised and used the fizzy drink which had gone flat. “Only the lemon smell made this unusual,” said Dale.
The child’s family were told after the ceremony because the priest “had the need to inform” them about the lemon scent. “They didn’t say much but I assumed they smelled the aroma as well,” said Father Paal.