Thinking Anew: We must accept others for who they are

One of the most difficult aspects of the Christian life is the pattern set by Jesus of accepting people as they are and making them feel wanted and valued.

We manage that reasonably well within our comfort zones: social, religious, political and so on. We find it difficult, however, with those who don’t fit in. We saw that following the recent fire tragedy when members of the Travelling community tragically lost their lives.

There was widespread sympathy but there was also controversy when local people resisted the relocation of survivors to a site near them. They were criticised and yet if we are honest they probably spoke for the majority of settled people.

It’s a problem we face as a society across a whole range of issues: we agree that more should be done to help Travellers and other perceived outsiders such as drug addicts and homeless people but not at our expense.

Prejudice is a major problem when it comes to accepting people described in the Bible as “the stranger within thy gates’. Years ago, before the new road was built through the Glen of the Downs there was a Traveller camp at the roadside. I had occasion to visit one day and was invited into a caravan which was clean and tidy, the children well behaved. The young mother spoke proudly of her children but then described the pain of being outcasts. She recognised failures among some of her people but resented the stereotyping. She wanted no more and certainly no less for her children than any responsible parent would want, but the dice were loaded against them as they were Travellers.

In his book, A Bread That Is Broken, Fr Peter van Breemen underlines the importance of acceptance for all of us.

“One of the deepest needs of the human heart is the need to be appreciated. Every human being wants to be valued . . . Every human being craves to be accepted, accepted for what he is . . . When I am not accepted, then something in me is broken . . . Acceptance means that the people with whom I live give me a feeling of self-respect, a feeling that I am worthwhile. They are happy that I am who I am. Acceptance means that I am to be myself. Acceptance means that though there is need for growth, I am not forced. I do not have to be the person I am not.”

Tomorrow’s readings touch on some of these matters. The passage from Hebrews reminds us that we are accepted by God as we are. The writer insists the self-sacrifice of Jesus has removed all the things that stand between us and God.

As the Letter to the Ephesians puts it: “To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he has made us accepted in the beloved.” That means there is nothing on God’s side that bars us from approaching “in full assurance of faith”. So if we think we are not good enough, we are wrong and deny the promise of our baptism.

In the Gospel reading, Jesus contradicts the disciples’ admiration for the status quo represented by the temple, the preserve of a comfortable elite who would not be disturbed, least of all by the needs of those they consigned to the margins of their little world. The same temple on another occasion would be the scene of his direct confrontation with money-lenders and others who exploited the poor. Splendid buildings and rich liturgies were and are no substitute for loving our neighbour as ourselves.

Martin Luther King who knew what it was to be excluded, in his case by the colour of his skin, said: "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but by where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. The true neighbour will risk his position, his prestige and even his life for the welfare of others. In dangerous valleys and hazardous pathways, he will lift some bruised and beaten brother to a higher and more noble life."