A DUBLIN-based support group for separated people received three telephone calls last week from men who said they were contemplating suicide, the Oireachtas Joint Committee on the Family has been told.
Representatives from several mediation and support services yesterday explained how they deal with couples seeking help after a marriage or relationship has irretrievably broken down.
Ms Ann Griffin, of the Separated Persons Association, who took the suicide calls, maintained that separated men were "very hard done by".
They found it difficult to get local authority housing because of their status, she said. Many were also excluded from social events because of stigma.
Mr Ed McHale, of the Clanwilliam Institute, a family therapy centre in Dublin, stressed the importance of mediation in resolving complex issues that arose when a couple had decided to separate.
"If couples are encouraged to avail of mediation as a means of managing their problems, then they can avoid the often adversarial legal response which can prolong a conflict situation and prove detrimental to both the couple and any children," he said.
The terminology used in courtrooms often added to this tension, according to Ms Carmel Stuart, a director of the Free Legal Advice Centres (FLAC). She suggested looking to the UK, where use of the word "custody" has been discontinued in favour of the more genial-sounding "residential or contact order". FLAC also highlighted the need for instant access to legal advice.
It was important to acknowledge that mediation differed considerably from counselling or reconciliation, said Ms Eileen Fitzgerald, of the Government- sponsored Family Mediation Service.
"We deal with the practicalities resulting from an irretrievable breakdown in a relationship. This includes sorting out issues of property, assets and of course child support," she said. At a time when self-esteem was often low, this gave a sense of "empowerment" to couples, she added.
Mr Paul McGrath, committee chairman, welcomed the participation of the groups in what he'd said was a "new and very important area of discussion".