Miriam Lord: Enda’s black eye bolsters him for Washington

This is epic stuff.

A blood curdling battle-cry went up from Enda yesterday afternoon in the Dáil.

“Senior hurling has gone global!”

They had better watch out in the White House.

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The Taoiseach is on the warpath.

He wasn’t exaggerating either. Clearly, the war has already started for him. The evidence was there in front of us as he went about his business in the chamber.

Enda had a black eye.

But he also had a very good cuts-woman in his corner, so nobody noticed his injury, although some observers remarked afterwards about how he looked so very tired, with his pale face and two big panda eyes.

All credit to the person with the powder puff and blusher, for Enda was a masterclass in light, shade, foundation and concealer.

That’s the joy of good make-up.

The handful of Ministers lined up beside him didn’t let on about their boss’s condition, despite the fact Enda rounded up his contribution at Cabinet that morning by referring to his impressive shiner. He didn’t explain how he got it.

But Michael Noonan took the chance to jump in and say he wasn't responsible for it. There was "some slagging" around the table, we hear.

The Taoiseach made his stirring declaration about the Trump crisis having entered bruising senior hurling territory without a hint of a smile. He was stung to bellicose words by repeated charges from Opposition TDs that he has been far too wishy-washy about Donald Trump’s alarming debut in the White House.

Fearful Europe

The new US president's purposely provocative pronouncements and regressive policy changes have shocked an increasingly fearful Europe. The executive order Trump signed this weekend in effect targeting and banning entry to America to Muslims from seven countries has caused outrage.

The reaction in Ireland has been no different. When the Dáil returned after a dizzying weekend of bizarre news overload from the Trump administration, Opposition TDs were anxious to know if Kenny was going to adopt a more hardnosed approach to the astonishing action unfolding in Washington.

As it stands, they don’t think much of the few words of disapproval he’s uttered so far.

What is he going to do about the Trump thing? Anything? Nothing? Just the bare minimum, in case we divert the gaze of the Oval Office organ-grinders from the Muslims to the undocumented Irish?

And when he takes up Trumplethinskin’s invitation to visit the White House on behalf of the Irish people in March, will the Taoiseach convey to him the disgust of many here with his outrageous behaviour?

There were the questions that deputies wanted answered and Enda was clear in his response.

He does not want to do anything that will jeopardise the tens of thousands of Irish men and women living and working on the wrong side of immigration law all over America. He is mindful of the “undocumented” whose tenure in the country they now call home may depend on the capricious whims of a hypersensitive narcissist who is quick to anger and unable to rise above petty slights.

And he is all too aware of their (voting) relatives back in Ireland who won’t look kindly on any politician who ruins the lives of their loved ones across in Amerikay.

Nonetheless, Enda has promised he will not mince his words when the time comes for him to meet Donald in the White House for the St Patrick’s Day knees-up. He’ll be there with a bowl of shamrock in one hand and, if he is to be believed, a hurley stick in the other.

American ally

“I intend to visit him in the Oval Office in the White House and say my piece,” pledged Enda, during Leaders’ Questions.

Gerry Adams didn't think this was enough. The Sinn Féin leader pointed out that he has already written his own stiff letter to Trump, along with a similar missive to the Taoiseach. He might also consider writing one to congressman Peter King, the long-term American ally of Adams and Sinn Féin who has emerged as one of Trump's advisers and is a firm supporter of his controversial executive order on immigration.

Could the Taoiseach advise the undocumented Irish on how “not to be alarmed” asked Adams.

Enda reassured him – and, no doubt, the good news instantly winged its way across the Atlantic – that Minister for Foreign Affairs Charlie Flanagan "is on his way to Washington today".

Such was the sigh of relief in the chamber, the roof nearly blew off.

But the Taoiseach insisted he was not going to lose sight of the Irish in America. It was vital this country’s voice be added to those protesting against the immigration changes. “We were once those people, Deputy Adams” he said. For centuries, we were those emigrants.

There followed the traditional row over whether a debate should be held on the issue before the House discussed Trump’s decisions at further length during questions to the Taoiseach.

Torrid taste

Again, he repeated his promise to have matters out “face to face” with Trump. Such is the serious nature of the crisis, Enda is pulling on the green jersey and getting the schtuds out.

He won’t be found wanting and intends to deliver on his promise of giving Trump a torrid taste of senior hurling on a global scale.

"What's hurling got to do with this," asked a nonplussed Richard Boyd Barrett.

Kenny's declaration of intent was reminiscent of the Fine Gael leadership heave in 2010, when eventual victor Enda went into the meeting promising: "I'll blow the roof off the place!"

So he’s going to go into his meeting with Trump like a Tipperary captain out to avenge years of suffering at the hands of Kilkenny. They’re savages when they get going. When Mr Kenny goes to Washington, he intends to leave everything behind on the pitch.

If he isn’t worried now, Mr President had better be come March. It’s all very fine living in a gold-plated palace with hot-and-cold running security bozos to mind you. But for all their expensive dentistry, they won’t have a tooth left between them by the time tough-talking Enda is finished.

He was obviously practising on Monday night. Either that or Theresa May gave him a belt of her handbag.

A Government spokesman told us last night that the Taoiseach’s shiner was as a result of getting a clatter across the head from a lump of wood. But it wasn’t a clash from the ash.

“He was out walking late for a bit of fresh air and he got a belt of a tree branch.”