Dáil Sketch: Mary Lou McDonald keeps Dáil in suspense

“It’s very peaceful in here,” quipped Mary Lou McDonald, smiling up at an almost full gallery of bored and weary journalists.

It was her response to a question about how long she planned to keep up her sit-in of the virtually empty Dáil chamber.

Two hours into her four-hour ‘on the peace blanket’ protest, journalists were thinking of lunch but concerned about what they might miss if they left the press gallery.

The peace of lunchtime was a far cry from the extended furore that erupted in the chamber concerning the water charges controversy that has convulsed the country.

The Sinn Féin deputy leader wanted Tánaiste Joan Burton to give an assurance that people who failed to pay their water charges bills would not have the money taken from their wages, pensions or social welfare.

Joan, in a variation of a familiar mantra of affordability, clarity and certainty, said that what she wanted was “a clear, modest, affordable charge”.

Minister for the Environment Alan Kelly, probably more appropriately named the Minister of the Poison Chalice, was finalising the package, "which I hope will be with the House by the end of next week".

Mary Lou repeated her questions and demanded an answer.

The Tánaiste said “what people say to me is they want clean reliable water”. In Roscommon, they don’t want to boil water, she added.

Then after going around the houses a bit she said no agreement had been finalised on the package but the Minister would unveil it next week.

Mary Lou stayed on her feet and said the Tánaiste had not answered her questions.

“You didn’t answer the question on Morning Ireland,” shouted Government chief whip Paul Kehoe.

“Resume your seat,” commanded the Ceann Comhairle.

“No, I will not resume my seat,” she said.

“Resume your seat or leave the House,” he repeated.

After several demands to leave the House he said she was “suspended from the service of the Dáil”, and when she again refused to leave, he called a vote, which she lost by 64 to 43.

But the lady was not for leaving. Her party colleagues had arrived en masse into the chamber to surround her, including leader Gerry Adams, jacketless but with waist coat and shirt sleeves rolled up.

“Marquess of Queensbury rules,” quipped a journalist on the gallery, as though the party leader might be preparing to defend his deputy if an attempt was made to physically remove her.

Nothing like that ensued. The Captain of the Guard spoke to her briefly three times, and to party whip Aengus Ó Snodaigh.

Government and opposition TDs hovered, walked around the chamber, and sat in their seats engaged with their mobile phones, everyone waiting to see what would happen next.

Joan left the chamber, with Minister for Health Leo Varadkar taking the Taoiseach's seat in her stead. "I've waited a long time for this day," he quipped to raucous laughter from the gathered media crowd.

Then Mary Lou left her seat and went over to talk to Leo. “The future Taoiseach and Tánaiste?,” a journalist asked.

Then the Government TDs all left. The Tánaiste briefly returned to collect documents and was heard to say “a waste of time”. “It wouldn’t have been a waste if you answered the question,” shouted Sinn Féin’s Sandra McLellan.

“You didn’t answer the question yesterday,” retorted Joan before sweeping out.

The Ceann Comhairle came back at 4.30pm and formally adjourned the House until 2pm on Tuesday, having earlier issued a statement that it was the vote of the House to suspend Mary Lou and that he had no option but to adjourn to avoid “further reputational damage” to the institution.

The row continues next week.