Miriam Lord: Simon’s pillars already look set to crumble

In the scorching heat, backbench urchins flit across the hazy plinth, snaffling photo opportunities where they can.

Visitors pick their way around the ruins of Leinster House, where major restoration will soon begin. There are heated exchanges in the old senate. In the other chamber, an excited politician waves a document in the air and speaks quickly.

It is warm and, in the lazy air, people relax a little and think of the holidays. Pasta is on the menu: Spaghetti Bolognese and pizza and Caprese salad, with breadsticks and oil and vinegar. Outside, it’s all tanned legs and gladiator sandals.

At Government Buildings, sunlit droplets spray fountain cool in the courtyard. There’s a bit of pomp about the place. Such a glorious day in the city. With a little imagination, it might have been Rome.

So, like a happy Audrey Hepburn with extra chins, we tripped lightly to The Perspiratorium – air conditioning in the Government Press Centre isn’t all it should be – for the launch of the Action Plan for Housing and Homelessness.

And yes, The Eternal City came to mind. “Rebuilding Ireland” is the modest promise behind the plan to revitalise The Country of Eternal Plans. That should take a while. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Centuries, more like. Rebuilding an entire country will take six years.

More sunny Roman thoughts, brought on by strait-laced Simon Coveney in his gleaming white shirtsleeves (he really means business) and his lengthy exposition of how he intends to get to grips with the housing challenge.

We know Rome was built on seven hills. Dublin (and the rest of the country) will be rebuilt on five pillars: 1) Tom Parlon’s (head of the Construction Federation) approval; 2) Concerned developers’ approval; 3) Concerned auctioneers’ approval; 4) Not In My Backyarders’ approval; 5) Fianna Fáil’s permission.

No pressure, then. Worrying, though, to hear Barry Cowen on drivetime radio as soon as the ink dried on Simon's document detailing the plan, to say Fianna Fáil would rethink its support for the Government if the improvements aren't carried out to his party's satisfaction.

“There are gaps in this strategy that have to be filled. We will make proposals to fill them in the event of them not doing so,” he said, ominously. “If, after that process is complete, we feel this Government cannot address this crisis we are going to have to look for another Government to do it.”

That’s a bit harsh, particularly as Coveney has done so much hard work to put this plan together. His passion for the project was very obvious at the launch. He clearly wants it to work and will do all he can to pull together and implement the various strands of his plan.

To this end, it appears we got the wrong list of bullet points. Possibly due to the emails which started arriving from representatives of “stakeholders” – such as the auctioneers – soon after the launch.

In fact, most of the bodies who are trying to assist people affected by the housing crisis have issued a broad welcome for the plan. Simon’s Pillars aim to: 1) Tackle homelessness; 2) Speed up the provision of social housing; 3) Build a lot more houses; 4) Make it easier and more desirable to rent; 5) Turn vacant properties into homes.

The Taoiseach rushed over before his stint at Leaders’ Questions to give his seal of approval to Rebuilding Ireland. It’s an impressive work which will be mightily impressive if it works. But few believe the current government will be around for much of the time-span it is expected to take.

“It is action orientated” declared Enda, who had to take action himself at the start of the briefing by ordering Paschal Donohoe to move back from the slick promotional video because his head was in everyone’s way.

But he had to leave early because of his Dáil duty, which was a lucky break for a Taoiseach who hasn’t had too many breaks of late. Coveney said, at the outset of his address, that he wasn’t going to speak for too long.

People have been telling him he goes on a bit, he ruefully admitted, before going on a bit, and then some more. He all but thanked the parish priest for the use of the hall. He even thanked Fianna Fáil's John Curran, who chaired the Oireachtas committee examining the housing crisis.

In the Dáil, Micheál Martin had a luke-warm, wait-and-see, response to the plan. Barry Cowen fleshed that out later on the radio. Richard Boyd Barrett surprised nobody when he waved the document about and dismissed it as "an incredible disappointment" and "a cynical exercise in spoof and dishonesty", which is "going to be a disastrous failure."

Enda took it on the chin, before rushing back to Government Buildings to meet golfer Rory McIlroy. The two men met at the Irish Open, when McIlroy said he’d like to meet the Taoiseach at a later date to tell him about his charitable foundation.

Rory’s arrival caused quite a flurry among the civil servants. Affable, he spent a lot of time chatting with them and posing for selfies. After meeting Enda (and some awe-stricken men on his staff), McIlroy signed the visitors’ book.“Beeeeutiful handwriting” said everyone. “I get a lot of practice” replied the golfer, who has to sign his card after every round. After which, some of us went off for an al fresco glass of wine. When in Rome . . .