Miriam Lord: Heney-Haughey contest would have been fabulous

The campaign to lure Enda into the open has begun. Seasoned hunters do not underestimate the task ahead.

Sightings of Enda are commonplace. His jaunty call is familiar to many: “Imetawomaninthestreet! Imetawomaninthestreet!” And yet, when it comes to bagging a Taoiseach for debate, his political opponents are rarely successful. But it doesn’t stop them trying.

Micheál Martin kicked off the political season in Dublin Bay North on Monday with an invitation to Enda to come out and fight his corner. The Notorious MM wants him to go toe to toe: “No holds barred. I’m up for that.”

But it was just fighting talk. If he had wanted to lay on a decent scrap, Micheál could have invited Fianna Fáil’s two general election candidates from the constituency to slug it out. We were all up for that.

The biggest disappointment of the day in Sutton's Marine Hotel was the non-appearance of councillors Deirdre Heney, who won her place on the ticket at the selection convention; and Seán Haughey, who was later imposed or "thrown in on top of her" by headquarters.

In more harmonious circumstances, they would have been there to welcome colleagues to their constituency. Were the atmosphere between the two not so poisonous, Deirdre and Seán would have been placed beside their leader for the press conference (a shoulder each) for the purpose of saying nothing while nodding sagely.

But not a sign of them, even though Fianna Fáil hasn't one TD in Dublin and desperately wants to get a few.

A no-holds-barred contest between Heney and Haughey would have been fabulous. They could have fought in a cage. Deirdre to enter first and then Seán thrown in on top of her. Tickets would have sold out faster than the U2 gig.

Topics of conversation

Micheál’s hard talk about putting it up to Enda only served to draw attention to the real battle raging under his nose. But he had to talk about something at his think-in. Steadily improving growth figures aren’t helping his efforts to get clean shots in at the Government.

Micheál has to be careful about what he says. Fianna Fáil left the country in tatters, so dispensing advice on how to manage its recovery has to be done with a delicate touch.

He’s more comfortable attacking Enda on his style of leadership and could talk all day about the Taoiseach’s starring role in, and handling of, the recent Fennelly report.

“I think it’s a serious issue,” says Micheál. “It reflects a way of doing business as head of government that’s unacceptable. It’s shifty, it’s underhand and it’s not upfront, and we’ll be articulating that very strongly in the Dáil next week.”

Or at least some of them will. Micheál’s front bench – which also doubles as his back bench – is somewhat lacking in the charisma department. When Fianna Fáil was the largest party, the donkeys could plod along happily without many noticing. They need to up their game now.

To be fair to Micheál, there isn’t much he can do about the gender imbalance in his parliamentary party, which has just one female member, Senator Mary White. It’ll take an election to redress the balance.

He recited the names of the women who have already been selected to prove his bona fides. Oh look! A woman in Mayo, and another woman in Kerry and another woman in . . . Let’s hope they’re grateful now.

Some of the livelier TDs promised themselves up for the electoral action to come. Bimmy and Tilly (deputies Dooley and Kelleher) bustled about the place. Colm Keaveney, whose veteran constituency colleague Michael Kitt recently announced his retirement, looked very relaxed. And Senator Darragh O’Brien assumed the role of host as he’s from up the road in Malahide.

Lighthouse

The media, meanwhile, were billeted upstairs in the Baily suite. This caused some raised eyebrows until it was explained that the room is named after the nearby Baily lighthouse and not developer and FF supporter Mick Bailey, of tribunal fame.

Micheál Martin wants to be taoiseach. He says he’s the only alternative to Enda. So soon after Fianna Fáil’s dramatic fall, could that be possible? Their leader sees some fragments of hope. Or to be precise, he sees some hope in the fragments. He reckons there will be “a fragmented political landscape” after the election.

If FF get enough seats, then attracts enough fragments, they could yet scrape though. But that's very unlikely. Coalition with Fine Gael or Sinn Féin would do it. But he's ruling that out.

Then we overheard Kilkenny’s Bobby Aylward’s explaining why some of his constituents wouldn’t be against an alliance with Sinn Féin. “We all have to play our part in democracy . . . ”

Ah, yes. If the people vote a certain way, a democratic party may have no choice but to act in the National Interest.