Leaving the cocoon

The end of school is not just about exams but the celebration of a milestone, writes Róisín Ingle.

The end of school is not just about exams but the celebration of a milestone, writes Róisín Ingle.

For years we have happily mocked Americans for their obsession with the moment when students "graduate" from every stage of the education process - from nursery to elementary to high school. Some of the best teen movies tend to culminate in ceremonies where gown-clad students throw their caps in the air, receive degree-style certificates and sit teary-eyed through mawkish valedictory speeches.

Unfortunately we can no longer afford to feel superior about this over-the-top carry-on as an increasing number of Irish schools have begun to ape the American way. The theme of the leaving Mass at one Dublin school this year was "Breaking out from the cocoon, becoming a butterfly". Students hung symbolic butterflies on a tree and produced their own specially designed T-shirts. "The class of 2005, coming soon to a college near you and living happily ever after" was the aspirational message printed on the back.

Whether or not you agree with four-year-olds donning caps and gowns to "graduate" from Montessori schools - yes, it happens in Ireland - the growing trend of awards ceremonies, themed leaving Masses and elaborate memorabilia to mark the end of secondary school is no bad thing, say observers. It's a period normally overshadowed by frenzied preparation for the Leaving Cert and because of this the president of the National Parents' Council (Secondary), Eleanor Petrie, says we should be glad schools around the country have begun to put more thought into honouring this milestone.

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"I know we all laugh at American yearbooks and all the accolades and the toothy grins but I think it is crucial to mark the moment in some way. School is more than just an academic institution, it's a club or a society that you belonged to for all these years and it formed part of who you are," she says.

Petrie is on the board of management at Wesley College in Dublin and this year, for the first time, sixth-year students were given leather folders embossed with their names and decorated with a school photo as a memento of their time there. She says the leaving Mass is an emotional time for many parents and that she had a bit of a cry when her eldest son left school.

"I suppose I was crying for the fact that he was going away from me, that he was no longer a child and he was going into a part of his life that I would no longer be making decisions about," she says. "I think I would find it even more emotional than one of my children getting married. It's like they are being launched into the world and all you can hope is that you have given them enough skills to cope."

Another parent, Edward Meehan from Leixlip, Co Kildare, says it's a time when "you don't want to let them go but you know you have to let them go. You hope you have instilled in them the virtues you hold and given them a bit of cop on and responsibility," he says.

For many students, graduation is just an excuse to go out and get drunk en masse. One popular venue reported bookings for graduation parties that take place outside schools increased considerably this year. "The students club together to rent a room, a DJ and pay for some finger food," says one venue manager. "Then they sell tickets and have a party for the whole year which some of the more trendy teachers also attend."

For others, the graduation ceremonies offer a sense of closure and accomplishment and the festivities have become more elaborate. The most meticulously planned graduation masses or receptions have themes along the lines of cocoon and butterfly, or shooting for the stars.

In some schools, sixth years like to get on stage and perform medleys of songsas a thank you to their teachers, parents and fellow students. Popular songs include California - the theme song from The OC, Paddy Casey's Saints and Sinners and The Time Of My Life from Dirty Dancing are performed sometimes with actions.

Other students have been known to release balloons into the sky as symbols of their impending freedom. Some schools hand out "graduation" certificates and hold awards ceremonies for academic achievement. There are even American-style "Student most likely to be famous" accolades handed out informally by students.

"I think it is really important to do something at graduation time because school isn't just about exams," says Ciara O'Byrne of Our Lady's Grove school in Goatstown, Dublin, where committees worked for weeks to organise this year's graduation event.

"School is also about growing up and making friends and when you leave you are moving on to a very important part of your life and leaving those people behind".

Fr Gerry Moloney, editor of young people's magazine Face Up, says it's a moment in life that sometimes gets overlooked. "I think we should put more into exploring the grief or confusion around leaving secondary school and not let the exams take away from that. It can be quite traumatic; you are setting out into the world and you are not sure what you are facing into. I think we have always done some kind of graduation but I don't know in the past if we have been very good at it. It would be good to have more awareness around the issue," he says.

For one student of Mount Anville school in Dublin, leaving her school inspired a poem, Sonnet For Graduation. At the commemorations, which included a traditional "ceremony of light" where a pastoral candle representing the light of the school is passed from priest to teacher to parent to student, Marie McIvor's poem was read: "As we look back on seasons past/The memories flood our minds/The year gone by a fading mast/ On a sea of tears and sighs/But happy days had we too/For then our ship sailed smoothly/Together we watched as soft winds blew/For friends we've made here truly."

It concludes: "So board new ships with grace and steer/Unto your future free from fear".

The graduation floodgates have opened. Hankies at the ready.