Would these 12 advertising slogans get by our truth police?

So, Toyota - the "best built cars in the world", eh?

The ruling from the Advertising Standards Authority of Ireland that Toyota must stop this claim because it could "never be fully proven" will have ad execs the world over scanning portfolios, wondering if they're going to be next before Ireland's truth police.

Here are just some companies who might want to be on their toes:

The best a man can get: Is it really, Gillette? The best? That's a big boast but can you prove it? And how can all your products be the best? If one (let's say one with five blades and some class of magic lubricant) is actually the best a man can get, then surely the other blades you also sell have to be, at best, second best, right?

The fillet of cheddar: So you say, Mr Kilmeaden, so you say. But hang on. Last time we looked, cheese did not have any bones. None. All cheeses are completely bone-free, so calling it "the fillet of cheddar" is absurd. You might be able to fool us with this cunning wordplay but you'll not fool the ASAI.

They're grrreat: It's hard to quantify "great" isn't it, Tony the Tiger. It is exactly this kind of woolly language that is going to get you into trouble. Oh, and while we have your attention, there's just the one r in great.

The happiest place on earth: Disney's lawyers are probably very highly paid and there's bound to be loads of them, so who are we to say Disneyland is not actually the happiest place on earth? It might well be. Particularly on a blazing hot summer's day when you've spent 90 minutes surrounded by whining children as you all queue for a ride you know is going to make you lose your lunch. If that's not happiness, then what is?

I'm lovin' it: Of course you are, Mickey Dee. And of course your advertising jingle is catchy - some might say infuriatingly so - but what does it actually mean? Who's loving it? And how can you be sure they're not just saying that because, well, you know, you paid them to say it? And just because this person - let's call him Justin - is loving your product, does that mean we all love it?

Melts in your mouth, not in your hands: No, no no. This is simply not true, M&M. We have tested this and can say for sure that M&Ms, when grasped tightly in our sweaty palms do, in fact, melt. There's just no two ways about it.

Probably the best lager in the world: You might think the probably at the start of your ad gives you some wiggle room, but we're not sure the ASAI will see it that way. We now know that it hates to see the word best anywhere - because best is so hard to prove. And if you can't prove it, you can't say it, now can you.

When you care to send the very best: Again, Hallmark's use of the word "best" here could be problematic. What exactly makes a Hallmark card the very best? Is the paper the best paper in the world ever? Have the people responsible for the little poems inscribed on the inside won Nobel Prizes for literature? Are they even real poets?

Let's keep the recovery going: How did that work out for you, Enda?

Guinness is good for you: It wasn't really though, was it Arthur? Sure, they used to give you a glass after you donated blood and that might be grand, but on no planet will any claim for the medicinal benefits of a feed of pints ever stand up. Tis lucky you got rid of that slogan before the boys in the ASAI were on your case.

Gives you wings: We have tested this out multiple times and, quite simply, you do not grow wings when you drink Red Bull. We would have thought this fact was self-evident. It is amazing this brand has been allowed run this clearly misleading campaign for so long without being hauled over the ASAI's coals.

It could be you: But let's be honest, here, it probably won't be. The odds of winning the Lotto are 10.7 million to one, so for the Lotto to suggest there's a chance it will be us is not actually wrong - it is just really, really really hard to believe.