YOUR HEALTH:AS POPULAR legend has it, sex didn't exist in Ireland until The Late, Late Showbegan airing in the early 1960s. But while it may have been something that was once kept firmly under wraps, it now seems to be everywhere, writes CHARLIE TAYLOR
The speed with which Ireland has moved from being a sexually repressed country to one in which most types of sexual behaviour are tolerated has proven to be truly liberating for the majority of people . However, according to some mental health experts, the swing from repression to liberation has created problems for some.
The first conference to be held in Ireland on sexual addiction takes place in Dublin on Sunday. It will look at the difficulties which some individuals face when a healthy attitude towards sex turns into compulsive behaviour.
According to psychotherapist Eoin Stephens, director of training at the Centre for Sexual Addictions (CSA) which is co-ordinating the conference, the swiftness with which Ireland has come to embrace sex has created unique problems for individuals and society.
"If you think about it, Playboyonly became available to purchase legally here in the 1990s, which in itself reveals a lot about attitudes towards sex and sexuality in the past. Over the past few years though, we've witnessed the rise of the internet where access to pornography of every kind is easily available. The transition has been very sudden and the country is still adapting to that," he says.
Stephens, who established the CSA in 1999 in response to a growing demand from therapists for training in the area, believes Irish people are still trying to come to terms with their sexuality and argues that even our attitude towards the idea of compulsive sexual behaviour says a lot about our lack of maturity.
“Mention sexual addiction and most people will laugh and belittle the idea and fail to see that it is something which is real and that can have a negative impact on individuals,” he says.
“There was, and to a certain extent still is, an element of shame about sexuality in Ireland, and this is evident not only in people’s response to the idea of sexual addiction but also in the response of those who engage in compulsive sexual behaviour and feel embarrassed about doing so,” he adds.
According to the experts, addiction occurs when individuals are no longer able to manage their sexual behaviour. Rather than solely engaging in sexual acts for pleasure, such addicts end up using sex to escape.
"An individual can find themselves spending hours online looking at pornography, hiring prostitutes or engaging in multiple episodes of masturbation for example, and it can reach a point where such behaviour can seriously impact on work, relationships and health," Austin Prior, head of treatment services at the Rutland Centre in Dublin, tells The Irish Times.
The primary dynamics involved in sexual addiction are often similar to other types of addiction, and it has been found that many who engage in compulsive sexual behaviour have had previous addiction issues.
“Sexual addiction has a lot in common with other forms of compulsive behaviour. In many of these activities there is a progressive loss of control and over intensely mood-altering behaviour with progressively damaging consequences as a result,” says Stephens.
“The main difference between sexual addiction and other types of addiction lies in the fact that sex is a natural activity and therefore recovery cannot be based on long-term total abstinence,” he adds.
Although sex addicts may come from widely different backgrounds, they are usually individuals who find it difficult to form close relationships with others. Another shared characteristic that unites them is the sense of shame they feel about their behaviour.
“Sexual addiction has also been referred to as an intimacy disorder and those who become addicts usually do have problems connecting with others. Addiction allows them to feel a sense of intimacy, but one that doesn’t actually involve truly connecting with another person,” says Prior.
“We believe that a healthy recovery from sexual addiction includes discovering what levels of sexual behaviour are acceptable. This may mean total abstinence at the beginning for some, but will eventually lead to less severe measures such as avoiding going online alone.
“It really comes down to recognising the triggers and, in doing so, finding ways to adequately cope with them,” he adds.
- For more information, visit www.csa-addictions.ie
Top Ten Signs of Sexual Addiction
1.A pattern of out-of-control sexual behaviour.
2.Severe consequences due to sexual behaviour.
3.Inability to stop despite adverse consequences.
4.Persistent pursuit of self-destructive or high-risk behaviour.
5.Ongoing desire or effort to limit sexual behaviour.
6.Sexual obsession and fantasy as a primary coping strategy.
7.Increasing amounts of sexual experience because the current level of activity is no longer sufficient.
8.Severe mood changes around sexual activity.
9.Inordinate amounts of time spent in obtaining sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experience.
10.Neglect of important social, occupational or recreational activities because of sexual behaviour.
*Adapted from Carnes, P. J. (1991) Don't Call It Love: Recovery from Sexual Addiction.London: Piatkus.
