Celebrating life's riches

A New Life: Natalie Descheres changed her life when being in the fast lane meant life wasn't worth living, she tells Sarah Marriott…

A New Life: Natalie Descheres changed her life when being in the fast lane meant life wasn't worth living, she tells Sarah Marriott.

After years of working 70-hour weeks and making huge sacrifices in her personal life, the corporate dream was turning into a nightmare for Natalie Descheres - she was up to her neck in debt, had been made redundant and her relationship with her partner was approaching breaking point.

The final straw came with a kiss. "The first kiss my daughter ever gave was to her carer at the crèche. It took her ages to kiss me," says Natalie.

Frenchwoman Natalie and her partner, Rory Hanlon from Dundalk, began to re-evaluate their lives. "It was about facing our own mortality. If we died tomorrow, would our lives have been worth living? The answer was no. We'd been sucked into the corporate world."

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Instead of viewing money as the priority, they began to see time as their most valuable asset and Natalie gave up her job to take care of their first daughter.

Dropping out of the rat race has its own problems. "There is no forum to connect with other people in the same boat. You're seen as a failure."

When Natalie first stepped off the career ladder, she missed it so much she quickly hopped back on. "The high-adrenalin lifestyle creates its own addiction. I had to go through detox."

Like many graduates, Natalie was committed to achieving status and financial rewards.

After leaving college in Derry, she and Rory, who is a computer programmer, headed for London's corporate merry-go-round. "The money was good, but we weren't financially secure. That's when most of our debt accumulated, because you have to pay people to do the things you can't do yourself, you socialise in more expensive places, you entertain yourself in more expensive ways."

Being a high-flyer who managed multi-million pound budgets for Motorola didn't save her from redundancy when the company closed its Scottish plant. "I still get shivers of anger. They made 3,000 people redundant; whole communities were affected." A few years later, Rory was also made redundant.

Long hours, stress and a young child put the couple's relationship under severe pressure. "I understand why people split up. If you're constantly stressed, you have no time to work at your relationships. The petty aspects of life take over - like why didn't you put the Hoover away - and it chips away."

After working out what they really wanted from life, Natalie (32) and Rory (27) made a gradual journey from the fast track to a rich, but debt-ridden, life in a Co Leitrim village.

She believes that a sustainable life is possible: a life where you're not juggling work and childcare while struggling to make ends meet.

"Life has become an assault course; everything is an obstacle we have to overcome. Even weddings, christenings, birthdays; we don't enjoy them any more, they're just something else we have to get through."

So how can we achieve a "sustainable life"?

"It depends if you see your glass as half full or half empty." she says. "If you see the glass as half empty, you're always running to fill it up. In the rat race, for example, you focus on what's not there. The first step to living sustainably is to stop running to get something which is elusive by nature."

The second step is to see your glass as half full, she says. "You appreciate what you have - your family, your social life - and you organise your working life around those things. The problem is that you're aware that something is missing, that the glass isn't full.

"The solution is to retrain your mind to see the glass as too big - to see the wasted space is inefficient, to be discarded. You need to work out what's important and how you can channel energy to make your life more meaningful. I'm not saying give up your car or your holidays, I'm saying: Are they conducive to a meaningful life? Are they things you carry for yourself or for status?

"It's about looking at what we have in a different way; the amount of water in the glass doesn't change."

Since moving to Ireland three years ago, the couple spend as much time as possible with their daughters, four-year-old Eponine and two-year-old Javotte. Rory works for Leitrim County Council and Natalie spends two days a week as a business mentor and trainer.

In the past five years, the family has moved house 10 times and been "evicted" twice: first in England and, more recently, last Christmas, when they were given a month's notice to leave their rented house.

This month, the family is celebrating. They finally move into their own home, with an acre of garden to grow vegetables. And now their glass is full - and just the right size.

Natalie Descheres will share her experiences and research on how to live a sustainable life in a one-day workshop, Transition to Sustainability, as part of the Green Festival, Co Leitrim, on September 19th. Details of the festival are available at: www.thegreenfestival.com. Booking: 071-9623301.