A new chapter in mother and daughter relationships

Hard Times: A book club aimed at mothers and daughters aims to improve relationships through a love of reading

Hard Times:A book club aimed at mothers and daughters aims to improve relationships through a love of reading

AVID READER and writer Maisie Gorman (11) keeps a diary – “but I can’t reveal anything from that”, she says solemnly. She has no idea if her mother, Sharon Cromwell, kept a diary when she was 11: “I don’t think she did.”

It’s a question that may arise when the two of them attend the first Irish mothers and daughters’ book club, which is being piloted in Balbriggan Library in north Co Dublin, starting this Thursday.

Aimed at girls aged 10-plus, the evening’s activities will include quizzes on “how well do you know your mother?” and “how well do you know your daughter?”

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Cromwell signed up for the club with Maisie because she sees it as “a nice opportunity to do something that we both like anyway; a shared interest that is not only an adult thing or only a child thing”.

When popular fiction writer and children’s books consultant Sarah Webb suggested such a club, the senior librarian in Balbriggan, Assumpta Hickey, was very enthusiastic. She hopes the idea will spread to other libraries.

“It’s a lovely way for mothers and daughters to get together,” says Hickey.

It’s also free, as all library services are – something which more and more people appreciate at this time of recession.

Hickey says there has been a sharp increase in membership at the library since Christmas. “I think a lot of New Year resolutions were made to join, or rejoin.”

Webb was visiting a Borders bookshop in Chicago last November when she spotted a notice advertising a mother-daughter book club. She was very taken by the notion and investigated further. “I thought it was a really nice idea and something that would work in Ireland.”

The concept originated in Washington with Shireen Dodson who, looking for a shared interest to build on as her nine-year-old daughter Morgan headed towards adolescence, realised they both loved to read. She decided to start a mother-daughter reading club and put Morgan in charge of inviting the participants.

They meet monthly and the success of the venture inspired Dodson not only to start a second club for her younger child, Skylar, but also to write a book about it, The Mother-Daughter Book Club: How Ten Busy Mothers and Daughters Came Together to Talk, Laugh and Learn Through Their Love of Reading.There are now thousands of these clubs throughout the US.

“We do not limit ourselves to talking about a book’s plot or the characters,” explains Dodson on the website of the children’s publishing company, Scholastic.

“Using the book as the springboard, we jump right into complex life issues. We have developed a safe haven with mutual respect in which such discussions are nurtured.”

Webb, whose first novel for pre-teens, Amy Green, Teen Agony Queen: Boy Trouble(Walker Books), is out this month, sees the club as potentially a great way for mothers and daughters to communicate. "That pre-teen stage can be difficult, when a lot of things are changing for them both emotionally and physically. I think the more communication channels that are open the better."

The secret is getting the girls involved at this age, before the mothers become public embarrassments to their daughters.

Cromwell, who works with the Droichead Youth Theatre, has no doubt that this is all ahead of her with Maisie.

“It is imperative that she rebels,” she says. “I want her to think I am foolish and to think I am old-fashioned and an eejit. At the moment she doesn’t, but she will.

“I think any aid that we can have that will help navigate us through that, whether it is a shared sense of humour or an interest in literature or whatever, that can’t be a bad thing. It is inevitable that the divides are going to come in and separate us.”

Webb, who will be at the inaugural meeting, is hoping that mothers will share their growing-up experiences when discussing books. “When you’re nine or 10 you forget that your mum was that age and that even though things have moved on a lot, emotional problems, like peer pressure, bullying and just feeling that you don’t fit in are quite universal and maybe their mums could throw some light on these issues.

“My teenage diaries are mortifyingly full of boy angst and friendship angst. You remember how awful it felt to be left out. It’s tough being that age.”

While this club is a new departure for Balbriggan Library, it has a long tradition in fostering creative writing. Maisie, whose father, Declan Gorman, is a playwright, attends a weekly children’s writing group at the library, led by poet Maighread Medbh.

"I go on my dad's computer and write different stuff," explains Maisie. "I am in the middle of quite a long story; it's called Marzie Moeand it's about a 13-year-old girl who gets an au pair from Mars."

She also has “a big notebook full of stories and poems” for the creative writing group, where people “sometimes” say nice things about them. “Some of the boys don’t really like my poems if they don’t rhyme.”

Webb, mother to Sam (14), Amy (five) and Jago (two), also wants to make parents aware of how good modern teenage fiction is. “I think most mums might venture into one Jacqueline Wilson book just to make sure it’s okay for their daughter, but they are not reading them to enjoy them.”

She frequently gets calls and e-mails from mothers asking her if a particular book is suitable for their daughter. “I am sitting here thinking, ‘I don’t know your daughter; why don’t you read it?’ The problem is that mums are very busy but I would like to just get them reading.”

Why, in these days of parental equality, single out mothers for this club? “I find that you’re not going to get a nine-year-old girl talking about, say, bullying, or boys, in front of someone else’s father,” says Webb. “I think fathers and daughters would be a different dynamic, that’s not to say it wouldn’t be equally good. But the dynamic of mothers and daughters was the one I wanted to explore with these ones.”

* For more on the Mothers and Daughters’ Book Club at Balbriggan Library, tel: 01-8704401

Five of the best for mothers and daughters

The following are five of the best books for mothers and daughters aged nine-plus

Driftwoodby Cathy Cassidy (Puffin)

The Cat Mummyby Jacqueline Wilson (Corgi)

Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaretby Judy Blume (Macmillan)

Walk Two Moonsby Sharon Creech (Macmillan)

The Truth About Foreverby Sarah Dessen (Puffin)

As recommended by author and children's books consultant Sarah Webb

Sheila Wayman

Sheila Wayman

Sheila Wayman, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes about health, family and parenting