Green monsters to wreak havoc over weekend

Gardaí are advising the public not to be alarmed if the Capital's streets turn green and large inflatible beasts are seen stalking through the city centre over the weekend.

The beasts, they assure us, are relativelytame and will stick to the main thoroughfares while the green hue will lift sometime in the middle of next week.

The public are even being invited to take part in the unusual happenings by wearing as much green apparel as possible.

If it remains dry and sunny as Met Éireann predicts the authorities are asking the people to come out and charm this invasion of beasts and drummers with cheers and claps.

However, in the event of a downpour people are being advised to retreat into the nearest public house where the stout will remain reassuringly black - that is in all but a few establishments where unfortunately it will take on a greenish colour.

In Dublin astronomers are forecasting a huge pyrotechnic shower over the banks of the Liffey on Saturday night at around 8 p.m. For those who dare to venture out, the scene can be best viewed from the North and South quays near the IFSC.

If you haven't guessed it Gardaí are advising motorists to avoid the city centre where possible. The restrictions on four wheels are said to be numerous.

A carnival of street performers and clowns will rampage through the city on Sunday, painting children's faces and generally making a nuisance of themselves. The worst hit area will be Merrion Square where an ghastly inflatible village is expected to lure unsuspecting children into a bouncing frenzy.

On Monday at midday expect your worst nightmares to become a reality when a parade of wild and terrifying monsters and mutants will storm the streets of the capital in a din of drumming and whistling. Worst affected areas will be O'Connell St, Westmoreland St, Dame St, St Stephen's Green, Patrick's Street and Christchurch.

In an effort to keep these awful events away from the public Gardaí have closed the roads all along the route of this parade and these closures will be in place from 7 a.m.

Motorist's who wish to cross the River Liffey are asked to use the East Link Bridge or the Church Street Bridge.

The parade will be followed by an evening of wild cavorting and dancing as Dublin's timid villagers celebrate the departure of those terrible monsters in a Céílí Mór in St Stephen's Green.