GERMANY: Excessive heat is famous for what it does to mad dogs and Englishmen. But, as Derek Scally reports from Berlin, some Germans became a tad overheated this week as well
If you go down to the woods today you're in for a big surprise. Teddy bears' picnics from Stockholm to Seville were cancelled this week as Europe's parched forests went up in flames.
Ireland basked in so-called Mediterranean temperatures of up to 29 degrees while our continental cousins cooked in tropical temperatures of 40 degrees or more. Around 40 people across Europe have died as a result of the extreme weather that experts believe could be here for at least another week, perhaps even into September.
Germany hasn't had a heat wave like this since 1859 and the scorching temperatures have left Germans scratching their sweaty heads: just 12 months ago the eastern half of the country sank under flood waters that caused huge damage to infrastructure. A year later, the railway lines that were replaced after being washed away by the flood waters are now warping in the searing sun, disrupting rail travel around the country.
In the state of Brandenburg, just outside Berlin there have been over 400 forest fires, including a vicious blaze at a former Soviet shooting range. The soil is still contaminated with ammunition that has started exploding, forcing fire-fighters to battle the blaze from the sky.
But Germany's forest fires are nothing compared to the blazes in Portugal that have so far left 14 people dead. Fires have destroyed around 3 per cent of the country's woodland, an area the size of greater London, according to the country's forestry commission.
Yesterday the fires were largely under control after a devastating week, although in the village of Macieira, some 180km north-east of Lisbon, more than 200 fire-fighters and volunteers fought a losing battle against a pine wood blaze, as flames leapt from treetop to treetop.
"The overall situation today is much better," said Mr Nuno Costa, of the National Fire Co-ordination Centre in Lisbon. He said the fire crews on loan from Italy and Morocco had been sent home, along with fire-fighting helicopters from Germany.
Police have arrested 26 people suspected of starting some of the fires, according to Portuguese media reports. Across the border in Spain, two more elderly people were reported dead yesterday as a result of the heat, bringing the country's death toll to 14.
In Italy the high temperatures and drought will have a devastating effect on the country's harvest, with the country's maize crop already expected to be the worst in five years, according to one research body.
French farmers have also been badly hit with lower than usual yields expected for cereals and milk, while vineyards have started harvesting early to save their grapes. Farmers in Brittany report that at least 100,000 animals, mainly poultry, have died from the heat, prompting local authorities to order firemen out to farmyards to hose down chicken coops.
The heat has had a devastating effect on the intelligence of many European journalists. Yesterday's front page of Germany's Bild newspaper was nothing short of apocalyptic: "Scientists sound the alarm: Equator Shifting Dramatically." The newspaper quoted Mr Giampiero Maracchi, head of the Italian Weather Research Centre in Florence, as saying: "The meteorological equator appears to have shifted 20 degrees of latitude (2,600 km) to the north."
Despite the looming annihilation of the human race, the newspaper told readers to keep trying for offspring: the heat has increased the production of the sexual hormone testosterone, thus increasing sex drive, it said.
Bild, known for its anti-government stance, decided to blame the government for the weather: "Schröder Do Something! We're getting sunstroke" screamed the paper earlier in the week. To keep the German public happy Bild demanded that the government arrange for the public health insurance system to supply "free beer and raspberry ice-cream for all".
That'll lick the heat.