The Church of Ireland General Synod in Armagh was warned yesterday against appearing unsympathetic to gay people.
Dean Michael Burrows of Cork said: "All of us at the coal face of parochial ministry know gay people who are doing their best to live out a Christian witness while agonising within the church."
He said he would be worried if an impression went out from the synod that opinions expressed by another speaker were represented as a majority view.
He was referring to comments by Mr Dermot O'Callaghan of Down and Dromore diocese who, in warning against allowing legislation for "marriage lite", whereby cohabiting couples would be allowed temporary status of marriage, said such an arrangement in French law had been introduced at the behest of the gay community.
Mr O'Callaghan continued that monogamy was a rarity among gay people and referred to Californian research which showed that, in most gay relationships which lasted over five years, fidelity had to be redefined.
Such relationships were based on an emotional commitment by the couple to each other, but this was not required where sex was concerned, he said.
He advised that recognition of homosexual unions would be unbiblical and would mean the church could not claim to be "one, holy, catholic and apostolic".
He objected to a comment by Dr Joan Turner of the church's Marriage Council, in an earlier speech, when she said that in the light of growing understanding of personality and sexuality the Christian ideal of marriage as a lifelong commitment by one man to one woman would need to be reconsidered.
Canon John McKegney of Armagh told the synod that twice he had entered such ideal lifelong commitment, but his first wife had died and his second marriage did not work out.
Criticising the smugness of those who spoke of ideal marriage he said many people had "untidy" relationships which were in instances more authentic than some hollow marriages.
The Archdeacon of Connor, the Ven Stephen McBride, commended "our Roman Catholic neighbours" for taking "courageous measures" to limit the choice of music at weddings and what could be placed on coffins.