There is no doubt but that Sir Neville Umphreyville was a man of some considerable means.
This can be inferred from the fact that on September 29th, 1588, Queen Elizabeth I, on her way from Tilbury to her permanent abode in London, stayed the night and supped with Neville. History tells us that a roast of goose was placed before the pair, and the monarch and her favoured subject both enjoyed it to the full.
Now 1588 was the year of the Armada, and just as the queen and Umphreyville had finished off their meal, in came a messenger to announce the destruction of the Spanish fleet by vicious gales in the Blasket Sound off Co Kerry. Her majesty, of course, was overjoyed, and was moved to proclaim that "Henceforth shall a goose commemorate this famous victory". Hence, it is said, the tradition of eating goose today, the feast of Michaelmas.
Elizabeth might also on that occasion have taken the opportunity to obtain a long-range forecast for the months ahead. This information, they say, is contained in the breast-bone of the Michaelmas goose, and can be accessed simply by holding the bone up to the light: if it appears dark, a hard winter is on the way; if it is mottled, the season will be variable; and if the bone is almost transparent, the coming winter will be mild. And as for the dimensions, well . . .
If the bone of the Michaelmas goose be thick,
So will the winter weather be.
Sometimes, however, the weather can be such that we resemble geese ourselves. When a chilling breeze affects us suddenly, we acquire a rough, pimply condition of the skin that is known as goose flesh. The phenomenon has its origins in the fact that our animal ancestors had furry coats to keep them warm when times were cold.
The usefulness of a furry coat, however, depends largely on the insulating properties of the air trapped between the hairs. It follows that the thicker the layer of hair, the thicker the layer of air, and the less heat an animal loses from its body.
Now the effective thickness of a layer of fur can be increased by altering the angle that the individual hairs make with the skin. To facilitate a more vertical orientation, therefore, a small muscle attached to the root of each hair contracts to make the hair stand up when stimulated by a drop in temperature.
In human beings this mechanism has long since lost its intended function of conserving heat, but survives as the reflex action to the cold that gives us - goose pimples.