POOR old Tony Blair. His spin doctors have spent the last week trying to ensure his every move and view dominates the headlines, and yet New Labour has been sidelined by the sexual exploits of the Duchess of York and the antics of Paula Yates.
Just when the royal family thought that Fergie could no longer tarnish their image or embarrass them - after all she is now officially an ex royal, stripped of her title - they are left reeling by detailed revelations of her string of extra marital affairs.
In what Fergie must believe is the greatest betrayal of the century, her "psychic healer", Madame Vasso Kortesis, has decided to cash in on their relationship by publishing a book describing their every meeting and telephone conversation, as she tried to help Fergie through her marital problems.
Madame Vasso, as she likes to be called, used to trawl around London's markets offering her "psychic" services for £10. Her insistence that clients sat under a plastic blue pyramid ensured that Madame Vassso stood out from the of other tarot card readers.
But in 1990 her fortune was assured when Fergie rang looking for help.
Dubbed the most "sensational" royal book ever, it has provoked an open season on Fergie. British tabloid readers have been spared few details about her turbulent sex life. According to Madame Vasso, Fergie was five months pregnant with her second child when she began an affair with the Texan playboy Steve Wyatt, and that just a day after her wedding to Prince Andrew she realised she had made a mistake.
Madame Vasso also reveals that Fergie was obsessed with marrying John F. Kennedy jnr, but had to settle for an affair with her toe sucking financial adviser, John Bryan, because his cousin, Mr Wyatt, ended their relationship, and offered Princess Diana advice on her sex life.
Even Prince Andrew appears to have trusted Madame Vasso, as he rang her asking for suggestions on how to save his marriage. "She (Fergie) has never been with anyone else apart from you," said the psychic, reassuringly.
Just in case anybody believes the old saying that you cannot trust what you read in the papers, the tabloids have thoughtfully bought Madame Vasso's taped telephone conversations. So for a small price, 39p, the public can hear Fergie actually confess her adultery, how she wishes the royal family were dead, and the extent of her financial problems.
Without any hint of irony, Madame Vasso also warns Fergie during one taped telephone conversation that she is in trouble. "I want you to be careful because someone around you is going to double cross you. I am sorry I have to bay this," she says.
Fergie suggests the culprit may be a woman, to which Madame Vasso agrees. "You are going to have anger, aggravation and tears ... not a young woman. Do you have anyone around you who holds secrets of you? Just be careful," she adds.
As Fergie's lawyers spent the week attempting to ban publication of the book and halt the "Fergie Tapes Hotline," the duchess must marvel at how accurate Madame Vasso's predictions were. To add to her woes, Sun readers voted seven to one that they would rather date a goat than Fergie.
And just when you thought that there was nothing left to learns about Fergie's sex life, brace yourself for yet another uncensored book. One of John Bryan's friends is also hoping to cash in with his reminiscences about their affair.
Perhaps one of the few people who can sympathise with Fergie's plight is Paula Yates, former wife of Bob Geldof. Her antics have also provided many column inches for British newspapers this week, as they debate whether Paula like Fergie is a "good" mother.
After police allegedly discovered the Class A drug, opium, and pornographic pictures during a raid on her home, Ms Yates has temporarily lost custody of her three children to her former husband. Her nanny and PR agent have also deserted her, siding with Geldof. "We have had Live Aid, now it's Lie Aid", declared Ms Yates, as she pledged to give her former husband the fight of his life"
However, Geldof appeared confident, announcing that he is also planning a crusade on behalf of all divorced fathers to fight for access or custody of their children.
"Believe me, I love my three children more than anything in the world ... Without them I am nothing. My next big cause is bringing the rights of wronged fathers to public attention. I kid you not, this is now my big concern. Nothing else matters," he said.
The only comfort for Mr Blair's aides this week must surely be that the antics of these two women look set to run and run, so no doubt next week's Tory conference will also be ousted from the front pages.