‘I’m running on empty’: Mother says she has to lie to son with autism about schools not reopening

A mother will have to lie to her teenage son with autism and tell him it is too cold to reopen schools on Monday because she knows the devastation the truth will cause.

Joanne Murphy has had to lie since the schools were meant to reopen after the Christmas break because her son Bob (15), who has autism and learning difficulties, was counting down the days on the calendar to get back to class.

The mother of four from Ballincollig, Co Cork was given a glimmer of hope when it was announced that schools for students with special needs would open this Monday – but that swiftly disappeared with an Government u-turn on its decision.

For as long as she can, Ms Murphy will tell Bob the Christmas holidays are extra long this year or that it is too cold to go to school or any other excuse she can think of in order to protect him from heartbreak.

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“Bob loves school and has been counting down the days on the calendar to go back,” she said.

“I haven’t the heart to tell him they aren’t going back because he was just devastated by the last lockdown. It’s horrible having to lie to your own son but it will break his heart to know they’re closed.

“I call it therapeutic lying to brush it off when he asks if he is going to school. I’ve told him that the holidays are extra long this year and I’ll tell him on Monday that it’s too cold to open the school and I’ll keep it going with other excuses for as long as I can.

“He keeps asking me when Covid will be over and I can’t give him an answer. He understands yes or no and nothing in between. How can I explain when we don’t have any answers ourselves?

“The last lockdown his anxiety levels shot through the roof. He went from being happy and easy going to flapping and hitting and repetitive talking. He followed me around all day asking questions. It was really hard going for him and I don’t want him to feel like that again if I tell him the schools are closed.

“Online learning doesn’t fulfil his social needs and structure. The Department of Education had time to plan in the event of another lockdown but it’s evident they have no plan B.”

She said lockdown means she is her son’s “sole source of stimulation, speech and language and occupational therapy. That’s not good for him or me. I’m running on empty.”