Starting school is a big step for both parents and child. It's the first step toward an independent life and, in some cases, the first time that mother and "baby" have been parted for any length of time on a regular basis.

Most children adapt very well to school, but there is a lot you can do to make it even easier.

With little children it's always worth stating the obvious. While friends and relations may have been asking all summer if he or she is going to school in September, the child may not really understand what it entails.

Talk to your child about it as if he or she is an alien who knows nothing about school! Explain why there are lots of children there, some in the classroom, some in other classrooms. Point out that the children are expected to sit down at a table or a desk and that they must do what the teacher asks.

This may sound ludicrously basic, but a study in Britain revealed that one group of very troublesome children simply did not know what was expected of them; once it was explained, behaviour was much improved.

Children are often surprised that, having survived a successful first day in school, they must go back again for more. You should explain that there is school every day, but that Saturday and Sunday are free - just like the work arrangements of one or both parents.

You should talk about school in a matter-of-fact manner. Don't hype it up by saying that it is "great fun" and "really exciting" - this can lead to expectations of a daily carnival which will not materialise. Ask a parent who has a child who has just finished junior infants - or "low babies" as it is called in some schools - to outline the day for you, including where they hang their coats, where they eat their lunch, what sort of things they do in class.

Some schools have toys in class for the first few days which later vanish, leaving some children feeling cheated. Explain, if you can, that they may be there only for this first week or so.

Ideally, a child starting school will know his or her colours, basic shapes, and be able to count to 10. The child also needs to be able to dress for PE and to ask to go to the toilet in a recognisable manner.

"I need to do dip dips" may tug at mother's heart strings but will mean little to a busy teacher coping with over 30 infants. Most children can manage "May I go to the toilet please?" - and it could save embarrassing accidents.

Make sure your child can go to the toilet alone and emerge with all the conventions of hygiene, cleanliness and dress observed. Elasticated trousers are ideal for little people not renown for dexterity with zips, buttons or clips. Little girls should be reminded to double check that their skirts are not tucked into their pants - it takes a tough cookie to cope with roars of laughter from the whole class.

Velcro-fastening shoes are ideal for day wear and gym. By the time teacher has done up 30 pairs of laces there may be little time for PE class! Teach your son or daughter to fold his or her clothes too. Margaret's second child hated PE and tried to get out of going to school on PE days. "I couldn't understand why," she says. "He's good at running and all that and sociable. It took ages before I copped on - it turned out the teacher had shouted at him for not folding his clothes properly at PE and, as a result, he dreaded it. I taught him how to do it simply and never heard another word about it."

According to the experts, it's helpful to talk to your children about changing for gym, about what happens at playtime and about lunchtime - these are the three areas most likely to cause problems.

At playtime, children are expected to run around and play without toys as props, which some of them are not used to. Also charging round the yard may be super-confident, super-loud 11- and 12-year-olds, who can appear terrifying to a child of four. A child's teacher may not come out to the yard and a strange man or woman may be in charge. It may all be a daunting prospect.

If you know older children in the school, ask them to look out for your little one and say hello in those first few weeks.

Mark all your child's belongings - clothes, books, bag and lunchbox. Make sure he or she can read it and recognise it.

When it comes to lunch, ensure your child can open his or her lunchbox and flask. For the first few months at least, it's probably best to provide food that is familiar. You can give a variety of nutritious foods over the weeks, but remember this is not the time for haute lunchbox cuisine.

Your child will be tired and hungry and will be glad to see favourite things for lunch. Even if this means the same food every day for months, it doesn't matter. It's better to have a satisfied child than a hungry one and a lunchbox that comes home full. It's also frustrating for poor old mother or father filling the lunchbox with tasty little morsels only to have them brought back bruised from the journey but uneaten.

Let children have what they enjoy - within reason. Don't give crisps, fizzy drinks and sweets - they may give an immediate boost but they won't sustain a child. Sandwiches, rolls, fruit, cheese, yoghurt and so on will fill young tummies and provide the nutrition needed. If you want to give a bar, let it be understood that sandwiches are eaten first.

Even if your child has happily attended playschool, there may be a few tears on the first day or so caused by the sheer numbers, the noise and the unfamiliarity of it all. Whatever you do, make sure you're at the school on time at the end of the day - a child can feel utterly abandoned if you're even a precious minute late.

Remember, whatever the problems, most children settle into school very happily, very quickly.