Casting out the demon drink

We must address excessive levels of underage drinking by changing our ownhabits, writes Tony Humphreys

We must address excessive levels of underage drinking by changing our ownhabits, writes Tony Humphreys

It seems to have come as a surprise to many that Ireland has the highest rate of underage drinking in Europe. But surely the fact that we have the highest overage drinking rate is the basis for the underage rate. In other words, young people have had good teachers.

Similarly, the complaint that young people are now more aggressive arises from the fact that bullying was and is still commonplace among adults in homes, workplaces, churches and sports arenas - again young people had good teachers.

There is no intention here to blame adults, as there are many solid reasons why they may neglect themselves. Nevertheless, as adults we have a responsibility for any actions that are detrimental to ourselves and others. There are now a whole range of psycho-social services available for people who are in distress and the "bottling up" of problems or the "drowning of sorrows" can no longer be socially acceptable responses.

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Certainly, today children and adolescents have a lot more power - and rightly so - but how they use that power is largely determined by how adults, especially parents and teachers, use their freedom. It is essential that freedom and responsibility go hand in hand, but for parents and teachers to foster such maturity in young people, it needs to be a case of not "do as I say" but "do as I do". The earlier in children's lives such mature modelling begins the better.

Children respond far more to the actions than the words of parents. What is needed for the development of a mature attitude to alcohol is to help adults to address their own reliance on drink. Furthermore, there cannot be double standards, whereby there is one law for young people and another for adults. Whilst I agree that the effective enforcement of the legal age for drinking demands serious consideration, laws in themselves do not teach anybody anything about respect for self and others and the development of a lifestyle that reflects such values.

The deep question that each parent or adult who abuses alcohol needs to ask is: "What makes me abuse alcohol to such an extent that I jeopardise the physical, emotional, social and spiritual health of myself and others?"

Many adults will blame society and point to the fact that the excessive intake of alcohol is ingrained in our culture. But what do we mean by society? Surely each one of us makes up the collection of people that creates and maintains the society we live in?

There is no doubt that we are emerging from a time of great darkness, where women were largely invisible and oppressed and men's emotional realities were hidden behind steel defences. It is important that our society creates structures that make it difficult for young people to have access to alcohol, that it sanctions adults who provide alcohol to children and that it sets about making abuse of alcohol socially unacceptable.

But the heart of change lies with each individual and in the words of the Indian sage Krishnamurti: "To transform the world, we must begin with ourselves; and what is important in beginning with ourselves is the intention.

"The intention must be to understand ourselves and not to leave it to others to transform themselves. This is our responsibility, yours and mine; because, however small may be the world we live in, if we can bring about a radically different point of view in our daily existence, then perhaps we shall affect the world at large."

It is well established that parents and young people who have a strong sense of their worthiness, individuality and sacredness either drink in moderation or do not drink at all. The way ahead is clear - what is needed is the will and the social support for the journey inwards.

Dr Tony Humphreys is a consultant clinical psychologist and author of Examining Our Times