DUP scotches old habits wi a le'al wye o talkin agin a yin-cleekit Airlann

AFTER years of producing election literature in English only, the Rev Ian Paisley's DUP has finally relented and translated its policies into the other national language.

Yes, the party has just published sections of its manifesto in Ulster Scots, but the central thrust of DUP policy has lost nothing in the translation: Ulster still says nae.

The tone of the DUP's "strang, siccar and le'al wye o talkin" can be judged from the following sample. It starts with the grim warning that "Ulster folks haes a muckle cloud hingin abune us aa, like as we hinnae sen afore".

From there on, the cloud gets gradually more muckle. The party warns that the British and Irish governments are conspiring to create a united Ireland - a "Yin-Cleekit Airlann" to be exact - and the plan has the "fu' bakkin o New Labour" (old fashioned socialists will be pleased there is no way of describing Tony Blair's reformed party in this language).

The document laments that Ulster folks "cannae road oor ain future - it maun be daen wi the let and bakkin o the hale o Airlann".

Fortunately, the DUP is the party "o the cleek atween Ulster an the rest o Brittin" and it can save the North. "We hinnae bin feared tae tak a stan' agin the sell-oot, an haes pit a stap tae it sae far. We hae wrocht agin it an we maun keep workin agin it tae oor weans future is siccar."

The above sample was circulated by the DUP's deputy leader, Mr Peter Robinson, with a claim that the Ulster Scots tracts were now available on the Worldwide Web: proving that if the message has not changed since the 17th century, the medium is bang up to date.

A search of the DUP's website - www.dup.org.uk - revealed greetings in German, French and Spanish, with Italian and Chinese versions soon to be added. But not as yet, any Ulster Scots.

When The Irish Times tried to contact his office for clarification, Mr Robinson was awa hame for his tae. However, Mr Ian Paisley jnr confirmed that the initiative was genuine and said hard copies were available from party headquarters.