Connect: The press release is couched in the usual purplish prose style: "The new 'it' drink on the New York bar scene: ABSOLUT Hunk!" it gushes. The beverage in question is made up of "ABSOLUT Vanilia (sic), simple syrup, lime juice and pineapple juice."
This concoction was "specially created" for an episode of Sex and the City, in which Samantha (the raunchy one) "makes a deal for her latest steamy love interest to appear in a provocative fictional advertising campaign, in which he appears in the nude, his modesty hidden by a strategically-placed bottle of Absolut vodka.
"The episode and the fictional ad have created a lot of interest; both journalists and consumers ask for the drink recipe and the Absolut Hunk ad," according to the PR. "This is not an ordinary product placement but a co-operation between an iconic show and an iconic brand where no money changed hands."
There's nothing new about product placement: Sex and the City is essentially one long product placement for everything from pointy shoes to New York City. The vodka-bottle-as-penis metaphor may seem a little outré, but only if you haven't been watching booze ads lately.
Let's consider a couple of ads for Irish-produced alcohol products. There's the Bailey's one where a young woman uses her tongue to explore a series of male mouths in search of that deliciously creamy taste. Or the Guinness spot where the prospect of a dark, swirling pint causes our hurling hero to score the winning point.
Now take a look at the relevant passage in the Broadcasting Commission of Ireland's guidelines: "The advertising of alcoholic drinks should not create the impression that consumption of such beverages contributes towards sexual attraction and success, or social success." Oh well, what's sexual about a little bit of saliva-swapping between friends? Or socially successful about becoming a sporting hero?
A time-traveller from the distant past - the 1980s, say - might wonder how exactly these ads managed to get past the various control systems which are supposed to be in place. Twenty years ago, booze ads featured over-coiffed, dentally-enhanced types in Pringle sweaters standing around in implausibly well-lit pubs. It was the era of Sally O'Brien and the way she might look at you, or sturdy Connemara men hauling kegs of stout up the beach to the waiting islanders. There was of course, Guinness's absurd but very popular attempt to connect the very different activities of surfing and beer-drinking, but for the most part, drink ads were rather staid affairs.
Now, just as long-standing liquor laws on serving minors and drunks are flouted up and down the country every day of the week, so the regulations on advertising are bent out of all recognition by advertisers. Mr Martin acknowledged this fact earlier this year when announcing that the Government was looking at proposals for new legislation to replace the current voluntary self-regulation system.
"Presently, alcohol advertisements infringe the Irish advertising codes in a number of ways," he admitted, "including the linking of alcohol use with sexual success and implying that alcohol has therapeutic effects. Based on the inadequacy of the current codes, there is a compelling case for an overhaul of the alcohol advertising codes, with particular attention to placement and effective monitoring."
Martin has been firing shots across the bows of the advertising industry for a while now, and it claims to have put its house in order (accepting along the way that yes, it had been breaking its own rules. Oops, sorry about that). An industry committee now checks ads at script stage for compliance with the code. Have you noticed the difference? I haven't.
The reality is that the people who put these ads together are too smart, too cheeky, and too rich to let a few voluntary regulations get in their way. So, if Carlsberg were a nightclub, or a holiday, or a flatshare, it would probably be full of gorgeous chicks with welcoming smiles.
But it's not, so, under the regulations, that's fine.
There's also the fact that the BCI code of practice only applies to Irish terrestrial television and not to channels such as E4 and Sky One, which specifically target the teenagers who are the Minister's prime concern. Do viewers really know (or care) which ads they see on which channels? Booze ads are younger, more laddish and more irreverent than they used to be; in this, they reflect a younger, more laddish (for both sexes) and more irreverent culture in general, and drinking culture in particular. Attempting to regulate these ads is like lifting mercury with a fork.
Drinks companies and advertisers have a rearguard battle to fight over issues such as sponsorship of youth-oriented events, but they also know they have the resources, the time and a plethora of new media platforms to keep plugging their message. So welcome to the world of ABSOLUT Hunk.
And ask yourself this: who do you think are smarter and better-resourced, the civil servants in our Departments of Health and Justice or the icon-makers and brand-creators involved in that episode of Sex and the City?
ABSOLUTely.
