A woman who described her husband as "the best in the world" when drug-free has been granted a barring order at Cork District Family Court.
She told Judge Angela Ní Chondúin her husband took drugs “every now and then” and when he did, became aggressive. She said he also took the family car during the sessions and could disappear for weeks, leaving her having to use taxis to get the children to school.
“He usually don’t start around them [the children], but the last time he did,” she said. During the most recent incident, he wanted the keys of the car and she did not want to give them to him. He was “shouting and roaring” in her face.
“He got the key off me and he held it against my neck and pushed it against my neck. He was pulling me around upstairs and my son had to pull him off me.”
Asked was she afraid of him, she said she was when he was “like that”.
Her husband did not appear in court. The woman said he had received the summons, but had ripped it up and refused to attend.
Judge Ní Chonduín asked if she wanted a barring order, to exclude her husband from the family home, or a safety order, under which he could stay in the home, but could be arrested if he used violence or threatened to use violence against her.
“I don’t know what’s best; when he’s good, he’s very good, but when he’s bad, he’s bad,” the woman said.
“Your duty is to protect your children, does that help?” the judge asked. “Barring,” the woman responded.
The judge issued the order for three years.
Separately, in Cork Circuit Family Court earlier this week, Judge Gerard O'Brien told a husband and wife he had never come across a couple who were so fair to each other.
The pair, who have two children, were married for more than 20 years and still lived together.
The dispute between them centred on what to do with the family home, which had a small mortgage, an investment apartment they owned, which was in negative equity, and savings.
The husband wanted to sign over the family home to his wife and indemnify her against any loss on the investment property, which he would retain. He also offered maintenance of €75 a week for each child.
“I’ve always provided well for my family, they’ve always got what they wanted; what I’d like is that they’d have the family home for the future,” he told the judge.
Giving evidence, the wife, who has an income of less than €22,000 a year, said she wanted her husband to pay child maintenance and help with the mortgage. “He’s always been very good to me and the children and he wouldn’t want to see anything bad happen to me,” she told the judge.
“I just can’t see how I can pay all the bills and the mortgage, and why should the children suffer because we are splitting up?”
She denied instigating the break-up and said her husband had initiated mediation.
“It’s frightening and upsetting because we have been together for a long time,” she said.
“People make choices and face the consequences,” counsel for the husband told her.
Judge O’Brien adjourned his decision in the case to consider the issues. “I’m extremely sorry you are in this position and I have no wish to make matters worse,” he said.
