Conor Pope reviews fruit cakes.
Mileeven Luxury Fruit Cake €4.95 for 400g 12.37 per kg
Highs: This is a fine-tasting cake with a nice balance between the spiciness and the sweetness. Although it looks quite dark and dense, it has a surprisingly light texture and the quite tiny sultanas retain a degree of juiciness that you might not expect. It comes in a comparatively posh box, the kind that would not look out of place in a self-assembled Christmas hamper.
Lows: Although it is hard to see what else is remotely luxurious about the cake - there isn't a huge variety of fruit in the mix (although there are a lot of sultanas) and the sprinkling of nuts was concentrated on one small area which seemed a little odd. It was also rather small.
Verdict: Nice tasting but on the dear side
Star rating: ***
Homebake Hazel's Farmhouse Fruit Cake €3.79 for 520g €7.28 per kg
Highs: This fruit cake from Glenamaddy is quite a cheap option and a substantial one too. It certainly is the one to go for if you're a fan of glacé cherries - the top of the cakes is virtually groaning under the weight of all the sticky, sweet cherries on it. It also says it is baked with traditional ingredients and methods.
Lows: It then goes on to list seven different E numbers among the ingredients, which does not create the best impression. Apart from the cherries it seems to be a bit mean on the fruit front. It tastes a little too sweet and leaves a strange and not entirely pleasant aftertaste.
Verdict: Not too dear but a bit too sweet
Star rating: **
Mr Kipling's Oxford Lunch 3.69 for 550g 6.70 per kg
Highs: This is a light and airy fruit cake. It is pale in colour, not in the slightest bit robust, just the kind of cake you'd imagine going down a treat at some Oxford tea party, in fact. Other than the big glacé cherries, there's not a lot of other fruit on display. It is quite sweet, comparatively cheap and the heavy sprinkling of almonds on top of it looks quite appealing.
Lows: And then you taste them and realise they lack anything by way of crunch. The ingredient list is a little disappointing and hydrogenated vegetable oils and emulsifiers seem to play too much of a starring role.
Verdict: Soggy almonds spoil the party
Star rating: **
Baker's Kitchen Irish Porter Cake €4.34 for 600g €7.23 per kg
Highs: If Mr Kipling's fruit cake would be best served by a fey Oxford don, this cake would feel at home in the kitchen of an Irish mammy. It has an appealingly wholesome ingredient list without any artificial additives and has a nice spicy flavour. The splash of porter also comes through in this very dense, hearty cake. It has clearly been designed to keep you going on a cold wet winter's afternoon in Ireland. It's pretty cheap too.
Lows: It is limited to Superquinn stores so if you live in, say, anywhere at all on the west coast, you can forget about it.
Verdict: Hale and hearty fare
Star rating: ****
Katie's Organic Fruit Cake €6.99 for 500g 13.98 per kg
Highs: We're not sure who Katie is but she makes a fine fruit cake. It looks lovely and homemade with the fruit literally bursting out all over the place. It is the only one of the cakes tested that you could realistically pass off as your own. It is made with organic ingredients - right down to the whiskey. It is very moreish and very easy to eat.
Lows: Too easy to eat, some might say. While the fruit flavours are nice, it could perhaps do with a little more spice and arch critics might find it to be on the dry side. It is also the most expensive of the cakes tried.
Verdict: Nice but dear
Star rating: ****