Close shave with culture

The Last Straw: Has anybody else noticed a strange connection between the popularisation of operatic tenors and recent developments in men's shaving equipment? We know that, for centuries, male opera singers and razor blades operated either singly or - from the early 1970s in the case of razors - as duets.

But the 1990s saw a dramatic breakthrough on both fronts. Suddenly, tenor trios and triple-blade razors were the only shows in town.

The dawning of a new millennium brought another leap forward: the Wilkinson Sword Quattro. Frankly, many of us shavers thought this was getting ridiculous. But sure enough, the search was now also on for a workable four-tenor combination. And by the end of 2004, at least two rival products had been launched on the light-opera market.

We all remember the hype surrounding the appearance of the original three tenors, a development that promised to overcome centuries of mass resistance to classical music, and give millions a closer shave with culture than they'd ever had before.

It worked something like this. First Jose Carreras would come along, cutting away some of the audience's prejudices while gently extending their auditory faculties. Then, before the faculties could contract, Placido Domingo would follow up, snipping and extending some more. Finally, Luciano Pavarotti would crash through the gap created by the others, breaking a two-metre-wide hole in the audience's resistance, and causing anything that remained inside to panic and flee.

The three-tenor model proved a big success and was widely copied. But the inflationary pressures already affecting razors caught up with popular opera eventually. The result was last year's launch of the so-called "four tenors", or Il Divo, to give them their official name: a move that dramatically upped the ante for light opera producers.

The group was formed by pop impressario Simon Cowell, who said of his proteges: "They're going to be huge!" Right enough, this is always a risk with opera singers. But for now, at least, the four are all slim, hunky model-types of the kind that could feature in shaving ads. Their début album includes some more-or-less classical music. But it also features popular ballads such as Feelings - for men with sensitive skin - and the mixture seems to work.

Meanwhile, Louis Walsh, a man who's never behind the door in spotting trends, launched his own disposable four-tenor combo, through the TV talent programme X Factor. Walsh's quartet - known as G4 - even sound like a battery-powered razor (I mean their name does, not their singing). You can easily imagine the ads: "Introducing G4! A revolutionary new shaving system, incorporating X Factor. Complete with special lubricating strip!"

I can't explain it. But the mysterious correlation between operatic singers and shaving equipment is only emphasised by the female experience. There are multiple-blade razors for women, and they may be very successful. But you wouldn't know this because - compared with men's versions - you hear very little about them. You hear even less about the various soprano trios formed in the wake of the Three Tenors phenomenon. Perhaps the market just wasn't ready for them.

THE FUTURE DIRECTION of razor design is, as always, uncertain. Historians tells us that 2,300 years ago, a fresh-faced Alexander the Great set a fashion in Greece and beyond by cropping his hair and shaving daily. The current film about his life, by contrast, has set back the cause of hair-dye, at least for decades. The movie is such a turkey, apparently, it might even provoke a return to widespread beard-wearing.

Against this uncertain background, the razor wars continue, as Energizer - owners of Wilkinson Sword - and Gillette sue and counter-sue each other over patents around the globe. Gillette has lost several rounds so far, but can still afford to pay David Beckham ludicrous sums of money to advertise its Mach-3 Turbo. (Admittedly, Beckham's contract to promote razors is not as ludicrous as his salary for playing football - even his worst critics accept that he can shave).

Elsewhere, Gillette is investing hopes in the M3Power, a battery-razor that uses tiny electrical impulses to make the hairs on your face stand up. If this takes off, we can expect the emergence soon of a group of tenors who also play electric guitars, call themselves something like "G4 Turbo", and play only venues with no seats.

As for numbers, whatever credibility four-blade razors and four-singer operatic groups have, I doubt there would be much competitive advantage for anyone moving to five. The next increase will surely be more dramatic. Maybe in a few years time, only a razor with 10 blades will do the business. Once this happens, I predict that shortly afterwards, we'll see the popular comeback of the male voice choir.