NOTHING excites parents - or indeed, journalists - more than the subject of kids and TV. Is what they watch too violent? Too sexy? Amoral? Will too much of it wreck their bodies and soften their brains?
It's amazing more of us don't just ban the telly, given our conflicting feelings about it. But now the V chip short for violence chip may be about to come to our rescue. Invented by a Canadian professor, it's a simple gadget inserted into a TV set at time of manufacture that censors programmes by reading their classification code.
Last month, the European Parliament voted for the compulsory insertion of V chips into every new TV set sold in Europe. The idea is that every programme in Europe would be given a code which could be read by the V chip, which will censor material according to tour categories - violence, sex, bad language, or age - with each category having a rating of one to five, with five the most liberal and one the most restrictive. When a programme exceeding that rating appears, the screen will blank, and switch channels.
Cynics predict that 15 European countries will never be able to agree on what constitutes a dangerous level of sex and violence, or a threat to our children's moral health, and say it will be very slow to get off the ground. But in America, where TV is unregulated and the moral majority a strong lobby, all TV sets from 1998 will be fitted with the V chip.
It sounds appealing: and indeed, wouldn't life be simpler if we could remote control all potential dangers to our children like this? But TV, like life, is a grey area: take the recent row over Hone & Away.
There was talk of moving children's best loved show to a later hour because of a lesbian sub plot. Apart from betraying homophobia (there was no physical contact, just the hint of an affair), it was a plotline that sailed straight over many young children's heads. Interviewed about the plot, one six year old described in detail an anger management technique displayed by one character, which actually made it the most useful TV programme of last week.
Me, I worry about quantity of TV, the surfing sitcoms, and the horribly addictive daytime chat shows, favoured sick bay viewing. Topics: "My mom dresses like a tramp" (Sally Jesse) to "My husband's a disgusting slob" (Geraldo) and how they might affect a young person's brain.
As for violence, my known objections have convinced them that I'm super sensitive, and so they warn me if something a bit strong is coming up so I can leave the room.