And the winner is . . . Martin by a smile, thanks to a brilliantly inoffensive offensive

MICHEÁL MARTIN won by a mile, thanks to a brilliantly inoffensive offensive.

That’s his style. Relentlessly nice, as he edges relentlessly towards the crown.

He has long been Fianna Fáil’s cool, clean hero.

Yesterday, newly installed as the party’s eighth leader, he became its cool, contrite hero.

It’s unusual for the leader of a political party to set out his stall with a series of apologies, but that’s exactly what Martin did.

He knew exactly what he was at.

By distancing himself from his most recent predecessors – one too proud to apologise for the mistakes of the past and the other too deluded to admit they ever happened – he immediately put the public on notice that he is not the same as them.

But he was ever so nice in the way he did it.

Even his reluctant challenge to Brian Cowen’s leadership was done by way of a polite cough to signal his intent, followed by the offer of his resignation.

Yesterday’s well-crafted victory statement and assured handling of the subsequent press conference also told us that he had been thinking about this moment for a very long time.

There was nothing thrown together or last minute about it. The deputy for Cork South Central had been working towards the leadership for a very long time.

How many times had he rehearsed the scene in his head? Had he hoped the opportunity would come years earlier, when the leadership was last up for consideration?

He never got the chance to challenge then, though, because Bertie Ahern anointed Brian Cowen and Micheál’s race was over before it started.

The parliamentary party took just an hour to deliver its result. The news was announced at 3pm: “Born Leinster House, January 26th, 2011, a healthy new leader, Micheál. Successor to Jack. Cork delighted.”

The accession was choreographed from the very beginning. A small number of supporters arrived on the plinth, jubilant and itching for a party. They stood around in quiet celebration, wondering when their man was going to stride out and accept their adulation.

It didn’t happen. For these are difficult times and Fianna Fáil is in the doghouse. It’s not so long ago since Enda Kenny won his leadership contest and the “Up Mayo” parochialism that greeted him on the plinth grated with the public.

Under no circumstances would there be any buck-lepping and roars of “Up De Rebels!” to add a touch of Leeside high spirits to Micheál’s big day.

He would speak to the media at the Royal Hibernian Academy down the road from Government Buildings in Ely Place – a few doors down from the Labour Party headquarters.

The word was not put about. As a result, very few party cronies turned up to sully the carefully contrived atmosphere of confidence and contrition.

The new leader’s arrival was met with a smattering of applause. The Fianna Fáil backdrop behind his podium looked a bit battered, like it had been given a few kicks. But still standing, just like the party Micheál pledges to rebuild and reintroduce to its core values.

The event was scheduled to start at half past four, but had to be delayed because a vote was called for the same time in the day. Two of the defeated contenders, Mary Hanafin and Éamon Ó Cuív, had already arrived at the RHA and were giving interviews outside when deputy Chief Whip John Cregan rushed up and told them to get back to the Dáil for a vote.

Mary clattered at speed in her high heels back to a waiting car and dived inside. Éamon, spellbound by the cameras, continued to talk.

He reluctantly returned to the car before he was lassoed by Cregan.

Low key was the order of the day for Micheál. There was notable absence of jargon when he spoke. Hanafin and Ó Cuív galloped back to the RHA to hear the end of it, quickly followed by Brian Lenihan.

One bank of photographers concentrated on the vanquished trio; the other on the victorious leader. Between them all, surely one of them would capture a tear? They didn’t.

Everyone was calm, with handshakes all round and lots of forced banter and uproarious laughter for the photographers. Micheál shook journalists’ hands and looked happy.

He’s already trying to smoke his Opposition rivals. He challenged Enda Kenny and Eamon Gilmore to not one, but two live television debates, along with a third one to be conducted in Irish.

Soon the air was thick with flying gauntlets as the offers were accepted with bullish counter offers.

Meanwhile, the joke doing the round is that Sky News will be offered the debate to be held as Gaeilge.

Yesterday morning, it looked like the passage of the Finance Bill would overshadow the election of Fianna Fáil’s eighth leader. But the mavericks who had threatened to vote against the Government, thus precipitating an immediate election, climbed on board having extracted a last few baubles from Biffo.

Nobody really cared. Like, do you remember where you were the moment Mattie abstained? As for this critically important debate, shortened after fierce arguing between the various parties, it turned into a forum for retiring deputies to make their valedictory speeches.

Both Bertie Ahern and Brian Cowen looked weary and pensive as the energetic Micheál Martin barrelled in a businesslike fashion into the chamber after his win.

Everyone wanted to shake the new leader’s hand.

The other two drifted away to leave him to his moment.

As for Micheál, there’ll be plenty of time for a few bars of De Banks when the fuss dies down.