Merit lists are silly things, but we still love to read them, even if it's only to scoff - and lots of people, both here and abroad, have been scoffing at the Modern Library's 100 Best Novels of the Century.
Not, of course, that we Irish would dispute for a moment Ulysses being named as greatest fictional work of the century (sure, we knew that anyway) or, indeed, A Portrait of the Artist As a Young Man being granted third place (though why not second - what's the big deal about The Great Gatsby? Only joking).
But overall, the list has been generating a good deal of controversy, not least among contributors to the Irish Times on the Web's discussion forum, sixty-four of whom take issue with its American bias (fifty of the novels are American), eighteen of whom deplore its male bias (a mere nine books are by women), while a further eighteen take umbrage at what they deem its elitism.
Regarding the last charge, it's interesting to consult the Modern Library's own website, which lists not just the hundred officially honoured novels but also the 100 Best as listed in an invited reader's poll. This makes fascinating reading, with Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand a clear No. 1 and the same author's The Fountainhead at No. 5 and Anthem at No. 20 (for the record, Tek War by Star Trek's William Shatner comes in at No. 17, but that's another story).
So who is Ayn Rand? The name doesn't feature in any of the standard works of literary reference, though aficionados of old Hollywood movies will recall a daft 1949 King Vidor version of The Fountainhead, with Gary Cooper as an idealistic architect battling against big business and the director's overblown symbolism.
However, the Russian-born Rand (she emigrated from Leningrad in 1926 at the age of twenty-one) was all the rage in the Forties and Fifties among Americans who espoused her longwinded celebrations of laissez-faire capitalism and selfish individualism. "I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask any other man to live for mine," the main character in Atlas Shrugged (1957) solemnly declares, and that's Ayn Rand in a nutshell. Obviously, this precursor of Reaganite America still has her followers on the Web.
To be honest, this Reader's 100 is more interesting than the official list, which seems to have been oddly compiled. None of the ten-strong voting panel (which included such eminences as A.S. Byatt, William Styron and Gore Vidal) seems able to explain quite how the final list was arrived at - asked how Brave New World made it to fifth place, one said "God knows," while two others said "I've no idea."
In fact, the panellists were merely asked to tick novels they admired, without ranking them, from a list of 440 titles provided by Random House, which publishes the Modern Library. And the chairman of the Modern Library, Christopher Cerf, is quoted as cheerfully admitting: "I think the process is to some degree a scam, but it's a good scam. I mean that in the best sense of the word."
And what's that best sense of the word? Let Christopher explain: "The statistics weren't valid, but if you had a list that was really diverse and incredibly thought out, it would cause less controversy and then people wouldn't buy books."
Who said publishing standards were dead? And, sure, isn't it all to the good when the result is that Ulysses is currently the No. 2 bestseller in Amazon's online bookstore?
Entry forms are now available for Comortas Filiochta '98, the tenth annual poetry competition organised by Dun Laoghaire-Rathdown County Council's public library service.
There will be competitions in Irish, English, French, German, Italian, Spanish, Welsh and Scottish Gaelic, all of them open to both adults and young people, and the total prize fund is almost £7,000. Closing date for entries is October 10th next, and you can get the requisite forms from public libraries nationally or by phoning (01) 2781788/9 or 2781790/1.
And prize winners from Wales will have free passage to the awards ceremony next November courtesy of Stena Line. Talk about preferential treatment - and they don't even have a decent rugby team any more.
If you fancy a chuckle, get your hands on Bizarre Books, edited by Russell Ash and Brian Lake and just published by Pavilion at £6.99 sterling. Therein you'll find "a collection of the world's most unusual books and authors", with special emphasis placed on unusual titles.
I'd certainly love to read a volume called Anglo-Saxon Wits, not to mention Premature Burial and How It May Be Prevented, though I imagine that only specialists will want to study Practical Candle Burning from beginning to end.
But it's sex (isn't it always?) that provides the most fun, not that there was meant to be anything remotely sexual about the following innocently-conceived titles: Women on the Job, Joyful Lays, Queer Doings in the Navy, British Tits, Scouts in Bondage, The Big Problem of Small Organs, Shag the Caribou and Games You Can Play With Your Pussy.
And someone wasn't really thinking straight when they entitled a medical volume A Handbook for the Limbless.
Hours (well, minutes anyway) of harmless fun.