How agreeable are you?
My agreeableness goes down quite considerably when I’m hungry. My child is almost two years old and I have observed the same trait in him. I’m going to claim it’s a blood-sugar issue.
What’s your middle name and what do you think of it?
My middle name is Louise. It was my grandmother’s middle name and it also happens to be the name a dear friend of mine gave her daughter. Although my grandmother is no longer with us, I love how it connects me to both of these women who have been very important to me.
Where is your favourite place in Ireland?
There’s only one answer and it’s Dunfanaghy and the surrounding area in Donegal. My in-laws have been spending their summers here for decades and I feel quite lucky to tag along. I’ve been coming here for 12 years and it’s unlike anywhere else in the world, absolutely stunning.
Describe yourself and three words.
Steady, independent, sociable.
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When did you last get angry?
Lately, I cannot consume the news without being pretty angry. You know, the way immigrants are being terrorised in America right now, the way trans people are being scapegoated, all of the horrible violence and suffering in Gaza. I experience a spectrum of sadness, maybe some measure of despair, but anger – that feeling of being overcome for a moment – is where I land when I read the news.
What have you lost that you would like to have back?
A belief I didn’t even realise I had when I was younger was that the arc of history does indeed bend toward justice, that things were getting progressively better in the world. This was quite a privileged assumption, I realised, but I only noticed it now it’s gone. Even if it’s an illusion, I would love to have it back because I think it’s helpful to believe that we are on a trajectory of progress.
What’s your strongest childhood memory?
It’s the smell of the books and the silence of the public library in my hometown of Dubuque, Iowa. Like a lot of bookish, indoor kids, I loved the library, but it was really special because it was a place of sanctuary, calm and excitement. You didn’t know what books you were going to find. Being both excited and, in a way, at peace is such a unique pairing.
Where do you come in your family’s birth order and has this defined you?
I’m the eldest of three and I think I have an independence and self-confidence that are stereotypical of a firstborn. My mother believes in birth order in the way some people believe in astrology. When she found out my now spouse is also a firstborn, she was thrilled. She was like, ‘oh, that’s a perfect match’.
What do you expect to happen when you die?
I take this question literally, so what I expect is that I will be missed by the people who love me. I hope they will have a big party to celebrate my life – I’ve requested this – and I hope they continue to think about me in little, private moments. I expect that they will. That’s all I know for sure will happen.
When were you happiest?
Happiest for me is more of a tier of memories than a specific moment. One, however, is a risky second date with my now-partner. We met in Los Angeles, but he lived in London, so if we wanted to see each other again, it was going to have to be there. It was a three-week trip, a very dramatic, romantic, happiest memory, quite unparalleled in terms of cinematic rom-com energy. He moved to the US after we ran out of air miles.
Which actor would play you in a biopic about your life?
Even though she’s 25 years my senior, I’m saying Frances McDormand. I’m 43 years old and when I think of actors who are my peers age-wise, they all look 29. I hate that. I want to be portrayed by someone who looks, you know, fairly average in terms of the ageing process.
What is your biggest career/personal regret?
I think quite a bit about the paths I didn’t take, both personally and professionally. You know, times when I could have chosen to move to a city or not, when I could have chosen a staff job or not, things like that. But I don’t regret the choices I ultimately made in any of those cases.
Have you any psychological quirks?
I don’t know if it’s a psychological quirk, but it’s the intensity with which I make and keep lists. I have a list for absolutely everything in my life – things I want to write about, what to make for dinner, gifts to buy and places to visit. In some ways, I feel like something isn’t real to me until I put it on a list. It’s a quirk that serves me professionally and, frankly, personally. It keeps me organised.
In conversation with Tony Clayton-Lea
