Fine Gael is under pressure over comments about teachers by Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary at a Fine Gael event last weekend. But here are 14 reasons why teachers deserve all the respect in the world.
1. They interact with photocopiers and printers far more than any human should ever have to. Photocopiers and printers are, of course, the only things on earth less predictable than children.
2. They‘re constantly forced to listen to bores making “jokes” about working half days and getting six months holidays a year. The same bores would probably last 20 minutes in a classroom on a rainy day when nobody can go outside for Big Lunch and everyone is climbing the walls. Never mind the marking, lesson plans, sacrament preparation, Halloween parades, school fetes, concerns about additional needs, Power Points, mandatory reporting and Christmas plays, which must be ramping up about now.
3. They wrangle parents. There was an information gulf between school and home when I was a student – there was a parent/teacher meeting once a year and a letter if you were acting the maggot but that was it. Now parents have easy access to teachers, e-mailing them or sending DMs. And of course there are the class WhatsApp groups, some rife with teacher and principal bashing. Some schools even publish advice on their websites about these groups, advising that they’re not the place to air grievances, political opinions or unsavoury jokes. Teachers have enough to do without Sorcha’s mam complaining that Dillon’s dad called her “hysterical” over text.
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4. They advocate for vulnerable and higher-needs children like they’re their own, often providing reams of supporting paperwork and vital information to doctors, psychologists, social workers, etc.
5. They must deal with the unbearable honesty of children who will ask them what age they are, if they have a baby in their tummy, and why they always pull their trousers up so high. Secondary teachers must endure the cruel nicknames foisted upon them and take on all pranks with a brave face (Mr L, I’m deeply sorry for the time we swapped your chalk out for a tampon, and Mrs B, your lovely little Christmas tree should never have been festooned with condoms. Teenage girls are hell on earth).
6. They are never safe in public. My mother was a teacher, and I remember many childhood trips to supermarkets where every corner turned could come with a refrain of “ah there’s teacher!”. And, of course, with every child there is a parent. I refer you to number 3.
7. So many of them genuinely love children and education. A friend once showed me a school report a teacher had written for her child, with tears in her eyes. It was such a kind and succinct representation of her eight-year-old that it had me crying too. “He really knows her,” I blubbed, thinking of my own teacher when I was eight who used to bring in his guitar and teach us Beatles songs.
8. They’ll sometimes bring in their guitars and teach little kids Beatles songs. It doesn’t get much cuter than thirty little voices singing When I’m 64.
9. They promised themselves they’d never give in to stereotypes but then find themselves crossing their arms, assuming “the teacher glare” and saying things like “It’s only your own time you’re wasting. I’ll wait for you to stop talking, will I?”
10. They teach tiny humans how to read. This one blows my mind. They take letters and sounds and turn them into words and stories on a page. For this alone they don’t get paid enough.
11. They spend so much of their own money on Blu Tack only for the children to steal it so that all of the posters and flashcards they painstakingly made for their lessons fall down. Why is Blu Tack so irresistible to children. Santa should bring a packet for everyone this year and see if they can get it out of their system. Yes, it will be walked into the carpets but that’s the price you pay for the joy on their little faces.
12. They’re forced to listen to rooms of people in gales of laughter at their expense at a time when a housing crisis means many of them cannot afford to live anywhere near where they teach and appalling services for vulnerable children and those with additional needs means people are falling through the cracks.
13. Meanwhile millions are being spent on nonsensical phone cases and infuriating bike sheds while schools go under-resourced and overcrowded.
14. Finally, teachers are sometimes asked to tie little shoelaces that are wet when it hasn’t even been raining. And they do it and just wash their hands in a tiny sink afterwards. Angels.