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‘The sparks flew. He became more than a driving instructor’

New to the Parish: When a Polish woman moved to Wexford and started driving lessons, she acquired more than a licence

Agnieszka Tyghe and her husband, Dane. Photograph: Patrick Browne

Dressmaking always felt like the obvious career path for Agnieszka Tyghe. She was just 15 when she began her training in the trade, following in the footsteps of her grandmother, who worked as a dressmaker during the second World War.

“She used to make the clothes for my dolls. People back then were really into sewing and knitting. They had to learn because they needed to make their own clothes. I was really impressed by my grandmother’s knitting skills, so I think she was an influence. She inspired me.”

Tyghe was born and grew up in the city of Kielce in central Poland. After completing her initial training in dressmaking, she continued studying the trade at a higher level while also working full time in a factory.

"I was going to the technical college three evenings a week. Work began at 6am, I finished at 2pm and then went to school from 3pm to 7pm. In Poland people are used to working long hours and early mornings. Here in Ireland life starts at 9am but in Poland all the shops open at 6am."

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She earned a small salary for her work, enough to live off but not enough for luxuries such as trips abroad. “My wages weren’t very high, so basically I was working all the time, and if I had two weeks’ holidays I would stay at home.”

In January 2007 her brother became the first member of her family to travel abroad when he moved to Ireland. Like his sister, his salary in Poland was quite low and he wanted to save money for the future. Eight months later, Tyghe and her mother arrived in Ireland for a two-week holiday.

It was lovely having the same customers every week. I'd never experienced that before and I was surprised that people took to me so well

“It was my first time in an airport and on a flight. Travel wasn’t that popular back then in Poland. It felt a bit scary, to be honest. I wasn’t living in a big city so I didn’t see planes that often and wasn’t used to seeing foreigners. Everyone in Kielce spoke Polish.”

“We couldn’t afford a lot but my brother could provide a place to stay and food and we could drive around the country. The main goal was to see how my brother was, it was never to move here.”

Friendly neighbours

She was instantly struck by the friendliness of her brother's neighbours and friends in Wexford. "People were very kind and open to foreigners. The fact that I was able to hold an English-language conversation with local people was a big confidence boost for me and made me feel a little less scared."

When her brother suggested she consider moving to Ireland for work, she decided to try it out. She returned to Poland and two weeks later took a flight back to Ireland. “It was never about staying in Ireland, I wanted to save money. The plan was always to go back to Poland.”

When she met Dane she could see he loved me very much and that's what she wanted for me. To this day she can see that

She moved in with her brother in Wexford town and found a short-term job in a bagel bar in Gorey. Soon after, she applied for work in a local family butcher's in Wexford. "I was surprised that the people around me helped so much and the owner was so nice and helpful. I know it's very cold in a butcher's shop. It's not a warm place to work. But I put a lot of effort into actually learning how to cut meat and serve people. It was lovely having the same customers every week. I'd never experienced that before and I was surprised that people took to me so well."

After a few years in Ireland her brother suggested she learn to drive. He taught her the basics and then she began searching for an instructor to help prepare for the test. A Polish friend recommended a local Irish driving instructor and she went to meet with him.

“I was very shy at the time when she introduced us. But as the weeks went on we clicked and basically the sparks flew. It worked out that he became something more than a driving instructor.”

Her father had recently died following a three-year battle with cancer and spending time with Dane helped her come to terms with his loss. “I was always hoping I could find someone to be my other half, that I would find someone good and kind. I never planned to meet an Irish man. I thought it would be easier with a Polish guy. But I fell in love.”

Happy mother

Her mother was very happy about her daughter’s relationship with a local Irish man. “When she met Dane she could see he loved me very much and that’s what she wanted for me. To this day she can see that. It didn’t matter where he came from. The most important thing was that he loved me.”

I feel very Irish now. When I got back to my own town in Poland, it can feel weird

The couple celebrated their marriage in 2012 with a civil ceremony in Ireland followed by a more traditional church wedding in Poland. They settled in Wexford and she continued working in the local butcher’s. Then two years ago she spotted that a Zip Yard alterations store had opened in the town centre.

“I never thought I would go back to sewing because there were not many places you could work in that trade here. In Poland there are lots of factories where they make clothes but in Wexford there wasn’t much. When I saw they’d opened the Zip Yard, Dane was very excited. He said maybe a change of environment would be good. I thought, why not?”

Two years on she is grateful to have a job that draws on her skills as a dressmaker. “I was shocked that so many people wanted alterations. I know it’s not always cheap but it’s nice to see it’s not just about buying new clothes all the time.”

She says her next goal is to become an Irish citizen. Her mother recently moved to Ireland and without any immediate family left in Poland, Tyghe feels a much stronger connection to this country. “I feel very Irish now. When I got back to my own town in Poland, it can feel weird. A lot of people complain here but I think as a dressmaker you can have a very good life here. I can do my hobbies and go on holidays. It’s a good life here in Ireland.”

Sorcha Pollak's book New to the Parish: Stories of Love War and Adventure from Ireland's Immigrants is out now

We would like to hear from people who have moved to Ireland. To get involved, email newtotheparish@irishtimes.com. @newtotheparish

Sorcha Pollak

Sorcha Pollak

Sorcha Pollak is an Irish Times reporter specialising in immigration issues and cohost of the In the News podcast