Many will reacquaint themselves with their Irish holiday homes this year, says Isabel Morton

THE CHATTERING classes are addled these days, trying to decide how best to spend the summer hols. They live in hope that this might be the year of the long hot summer, which would legitimise their decision to stay put in Ireland and revisit their neglected retreats in west Cork, Brittas or Connemara.

All sorts of excuses are being proffered to explain away their “staycation” including children’s exams, tennis camps and sailing courses, relations coming to stay, Icelandic volcano dust and their hectic work schedules.

These days, all the best husbands are employed as consultant advisers to Nama. Their wives adopt the proud yet demure countenance of 1940s housewives whose husbands are privy to highly secretive and sensitive information, which is of vital importance to the survival of the nation. Any probing enquiries are met with a look of warning, which reminds one that loose lips sink ships.

Therefore, disappearing abroad en famille for three months guaranteed sunshine just as soon as the private schools close at the end of May is no longer an option.

Regardless of whether or not Nama might urgently require their expertise, few would risk leaving their desk for more than a week at a stretch these days in fear that their job, their company or the country might disappear in a puff of smoke in their absence.

Many of those who bought holiday villas and apartments abroad now suspect that they may, at the time, have been suffering from sunstroke, as they paid scant attention to the age old rule that “the day you buy, is the day you sell” and bought in obscure spots or in supposedly up-and-coming locations which had little chance of generating rental income, let alone any real possibility of ever recouping the original purchase price.

A friend recently admitted that she felt guilty about her beautifully renovated Tuscan farmhouse, which lies empty for most of the year. Her husband becomes edgy and uncomfortable within hours of his arrival as internet access is unreliable and their mobile phones only work properly if they’re used in the vicinity of their swimming pool.

As a result, she finds it impossible to relax while he spends hours each day, pacing up and down by the edge of the pool, on the phone to his office. And their children, who are now teenagers, are equally hysterical about being cut off from the outside world and constantly complain about being bored to tears with endless rural Italian holidays.

She’s even beginning to run out of girlfriends who are willing and able to accompany her on trips to check on her property and she’s only ever managed to rent it for one week, in August 2006, and that didn’t really count because they were American friends of friends, who were touring Europe on a tight budget.

Of course, Costa del Connemara is all very fine when the weather is good and your children’s friends are around to keep each other entertained but no amount of fake tan or lying through your teeth about how relaxing and peaceful it was will fool anyone.

We all know that being cooped up indoors, because of torrential rain and Arctic winds, can result in cabin fever setting in by day three of your holiday and after a fortnight your family might need counselling, having spent far too much time in close proximity to one another.

However, despite the unpredictable weather, many Irish people actually prefer to holiday at home, particularly families with young children who wish to avoid the stresses of air travel, unfamiliar food and surroundings, and excessive heat.

Margaret Dillon of Rent an Irish Cottage (rentacottage.ie) reports that there has been a 22 per cent drop in business since the boom but 2010 bookings are similar to last year, although people are leaving booking until the last moment and most are looking for special offers.

Dillon’s clients consist of around 60 per cent Irish holidaymakers, with the remainder being Europeans and Americans. Last year was the worst ever recorded for American visitors but their numbers are up by around 4 per cent this year.

Roger and Liz Pickett of The Cottages, Bettystown, Co Meath (cottages-ireland.com) say that the number of Irish clients has increased by 10 per cent and now represents 25 per cent of their market, as people who might once have travelled abroad are now staying in one of their 300-year-old renovated cottages beside Laytown beach.

They have recently noted a change in people’s holiday patterns as many, including the British and Americans, now take more frequent but shorter breaks. So, perhaps we are not the only nation to have become cautious about being away from our desks for lengthy periods.

All we need now is a long hot summer and we’ll soon wonder why we ever considered holidaying abroad. And we’ll relax in the knowledge that we’ll be close at hand, should our country need us.