Kathryn is a hero, I had no choice, but she had

OUR HEALTH EXPERIENCE: KATHRYN AND EUGENE EVERS: Kathryn decided to donate her kidney to her husband, Eugene, the day after …

OUR HEALTH EXPERIENCE: KATHRYN AND EUGENE EVERS:Kathryn decided to donate her kidney to her husband, Eugene, the day after he was told he needed dialysis

KATHRYN: I decided to give Eugene my kidney in October 2008. That was the day after he got very bad news at Beaumont Hospital.

EUGENE: They said there's disease in your only remaining kidney. You need to have the kidney removed and go on dialysis.

KATHRYN: The next morning, Eugene was very upset. I remember wondering, could I give him a kidney? I felt I had to ring Beaumont in a hurry. It was a moment of total inspiration. Nobody asked me; nobody had suggested it. Eugene came in and said, 'What am I going to do?' and I was, 'Don't be worrying, I'm going to give you a kidney, so have your breakfast and go to work. We'll be fine.'

It was the answer to the whole problem. Rather than have the surgeon make all the decisions, we could say, ‘We’re going to do this.’ Nothing could put me off. I couldn’t have been talked out of it. Eugene had been so unwell for so long. He had suffered enough.

Starting in September 2005, his eyesight suddenly faded. He had three weeks of total blindness. He had seizures. We eventually discovered all this was the result of a diseased kidney. That kidney was removed in November 2005. Then he suffered a mild stroke. Now the second kidney was also diseased. Every waking second I was always worrying about him. Last August they removed Eugene’s second kidney.

EUGENE: And that day you go on dialysis. Dialysis is a shock to your body. Your whole life rotates around dialysis. You've got to get used to this diet. It restricts the amount of fluid that you can have. In my case, it was 800mls a day, which sounds quite a lot until you consider an average person, how many cups of tea or coffee would you have in a day? You don't eat bananas because there's potassium in bananas. Potassium builds up in your system and the machine isn't great at getting rid of potassium. So you keep away from sugar, chocolate, anything like that. Spuds have to be double-boiled, again to get the potassium out.

KATHRYN: Apparently the dialysis machine takes away only 15 per cent of toxins. I was shocked when I heard that.

EUGENE: I lost nearly 20kgs in three weeks. If you vary from the diet, you'll feel drained at the end of dialysis and you'll feel nauseated.

Dialysis varies from person to person as to how much they need. I needed it three times a week for four hours, which doesn’t sound so bad until you break it down. I’d leave here at 5 in the evening in a taxi, which would have maybe five or six other people, and go to Beaumont. You might be lucky and get onto this machine by 6.30pm. The beds are too far apart to have any conversation. There’s a very small TV set which makes it very hard to listen to or see well. So you’re on that until 10.30.

When they disconnect you, you can be fine or you can be terribly weak. If you’re terribly weak you hobble back to the taxi, climb into it, and you might arrive home at midnight. Because you’re so weak, you’re hungry. So you eat whatever is available that is allowed. You go to bed at maybe 1am and you can’t sleep because you’re after lying on a bed for four hours straight. Maybe at 4am you might get to sleep. The following morning you’re completely exhausted. The next day you’re back on dialysis again.

KATHRYN: Once Eugene had his kidney out, he was able to go on the transplant list and I could start the process of becoming a donor. A donor has to be in perfect health.

They checked my blood group, and if Eugene had antibodies against my kidney. I had a scan to see did I have two kidneys, a chest X-ray, an ECG to make sure my heart was alright, an all-over body scan, a mammogram, a colonoscopy, a CT scan to look at the blood supply going into the kidneys. They checked for viruses and cholesterol and all sorts of other things. An independent kidney specialist reviewed all my results. I had to see a psychologist to make sure I hadn’t been coerced. Even though myself and Eugene aren’t related, we had a very, very good match.

EUGENE: I couldn't envisage the change it would make. As far as I was concerned it was another ordeal of a long set of ordeals for four and half years.

KATHRYN: On the day of the surgery, I was high as a kite, I was so excited. Eugene went in first and then I went in, to two separate theatres. The great thing about a living donor is that the kidney is connected up very quickly and starts to work instantly. There's no deterioration at all. It is major surgery, but you get good pain relief and you start to recover in five or six days.

That evening, I asked Eugene how did he feel. He said, ‘I feel fantastic.’ That was amazing; the first time in five years he had said he felt well.

EUGENE: I don't think you can emphasise how well you feel, compared to how unwell you were. To be on dialysis would make you feel like an 80 year old all the time and to have a transplant makes you feel like a 20 year old instantly. It's the actual physical way you feel inside. My eyes had been red and bloodshot for nearly five years but they became crystal clear. I think after a time you accept dialysis as being the norm. You tend to forget what life was like. To be given it back is unbelievable.

KATHRYN: Immediately after the surgery, I had no pain at all. Three or four days later I was changed to different pain relief and took a few hours to adjust, but really by the sixth or seventh day I could see all the time I was improving. The wound was healing, I was in the best of health and I knew I would recover.

It takes a while to recover because you’ve lost your kidney and you have to adjust to the kidney being gone. There’s no restrictions on my lifestyle now but I’m doing my best to stay healthy by getting moderate exercise and avoiding too much salt or sugar.

There are more than 600 people waiting for transplants. People who have a relative or spouse waiting should think about getting the courage to come forward as a living donor. It’s also important that people carry a donor card and tell their family that they’d like to donate their organs after death.

KATHRYN: Eugene benefited from the work of my late brother, Dr Robert Cafferkey. He was a genetic engineer who helped develop new immuno-suppressant drugs that allowed the living donor programme.

EUGENE: After I got Kathryn's kidney, I had this craving for salads. Before, if we went to a restaurant Kathryn would order a salad and I'd order the burger and chips. Since the transplant, I eat salads like they're going out of fashion.

KATHRYN: One of the surgeons was telling us that sometimes people can take on characteristics of the donor. I've seen Eugene do a bit of hoovering . . .

EUGENE: I'm a new man.

KATHRYN: Seeing Eugene so well is a miracle; it literally is a miracle unfolding in front of your eyes.

EUGENE: Kathryn is a hero, absolutely. See, it's different for me, I had no choice. But Kathryn had a choice all the time. You hear all these stories, 'If I get better I'm going to climb Everest,' but I don't think that happens. If you're cured you're quite content to go back to your mundane way of living. I just wanted my old life back, my everyday life.

In conversation with Mary Feely

Organ Donor Awareness Week is from 27th March until 3rd April. To receive an organ donor card, freetext the word DONOR to 50050. Organ donor cards are also available in pharmacies