First Encounters: Pierre Chapeau and John-Paul Turner

‘I immediately felt “here’s a man I can talk with”.’

Pierre Chapeau (left) and John-Paul Turner outside The French Paradox in Ballsbridge, Dublin. Photograph: Eric Luke

Pierre Chapeau is patron of the French Paradox wine bar and shop in Ballsbridge, Dublin. He was born in Cognac and met his Irish wife Tanya there when she was working for Hennessy. In 2002, the couple, with their four children, "relaunched" themselves in Ireland with their wine shop

John-Paul came to the French Paradox four years ago. Most customers don't have time for the patron, but that's life, non? John-Paul was different. Some friendships go on and on, like this one, ça se deroule as we say. What is beautiful is that it never comes to an end.

The first time he came in, he was with a French- speaking colleague. This, for me, was odd. Generally, when a French person arrives it is because an Irish contact has brought him. It’s cheaper and more convenient than bringing them to Paris, after all. After that he came back on his own and we started to talk. Once we had talked about the weather and where we come from, we moved on to other things, like travelling and rugby. Rugby is very important, a great source of male camaraderie.

John-Paul has binationality, as do my Irish- French children, so through him I can learn how they are thinking! He’s an interesting cocktail of English and French; when you consider the history between England and France and a relationship between those countries that is not love, rather a mutual fascination, well, he’s even more interesting.

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The friendship came naturally. John-Paul is much more measured than I am; that’s his Anglo- Saxon side. I would be more Latin. The friendship grew, day after day, meeting after meeting, as we realised how much we had in common. His children travel the world, as ours do, and because we’re human we talk about our children. Since he’s like a mirror image, a real exchange is possible. We can relate, you know? And then there’s rugby, ah rugby!

Plus, of course, he’s a connoisseur of wine and good food, always looking for a good bottle to bring to his family or friends.

Last year, when I was going to a Stade Français rugby game in Paris, I met John Paul in the 16th arrondissement, under the shadow of le Parc des Princes. I was with the Paris chapter of a Francophile rugby/wine group I'd set up in Hong Kong. I'd known one of the group, Dede, since 2001. He'd even been to the French Paradox. As John-Paul joined us, Dede cried out: "Qu'est-ce que tu fous la?" and John Paul said: "You know Pierre?" and you had three people who hadn't known they knew one another. It's a bit like cards, when you turn over a hand and find something in common.

Since we both travel for work, we value time together when we have the possibility of an exchange. John-Paul is good and a very good mate. You don't need to be too complicated about friendship, just accept it. Montaigne said of a friendship – "parce que c'etait lui, parce que c'etait moi" (because it was him, because it was me). For me it's that simple.

John-Paul Turner was brought up in Sussex by a French mother and English father. He lived for many years in Paris and played amateur rugby at a professional level "until I was 40 years of age". Now based in Ireland as a reinsurance underwriter, he travels extensively with his work

I met Pierre for the first time when a French colleague introduced me to the French Paradox – and to Pierre. I immediately felt “here’s a man I can talk with”. You can tell a lot from a handshake and I felt trust and empathy. We’ve been building on those things ever since.

Rugby! That was the key word in our first conversation. In the rugby world people are very outgoing, there’s a chemistry with other rugby people. With Pierre things just rolled out, one thing leading to another and to family.

I’m in the French Paradox every other day now. It is home, it is family, similar to St-Germain-des-Pres and Left Bank cafes like Le Deux Magots, where I lived when my children were growing up. You’d all sorts of people meeting there; artists, writers, all sorts. The French Paradox has become something like that, a quite exceptional meeting place.

I went straight from school into the insurance industry, following my father’s and grandfather’s footsteps into Lloyds of London. After a while I moved to Paris to continue in the business and married a French woman. Our daughter, Charlotte, works in Luxembourg and our son, Thomas, is in Burma where he looks after a wine cellar. Pierre met him there last summer. I know Pierre’s boys and daughter too; we share mutual things, circles that link up. It’s very simple.

I lived five minutes from St-Germain-des-Pres and the Bon Marche for 23 years. It was an integrated world, very homely, great fun, good schools for the kids. Living in France, speaking French, brought out the French in me. I’m at home in both cultures but do feel the French bit has enhanced my being, added spice.

Today, 36 years after joining, I’m still in the insurance world, with a lot of people, cultures, travel and knowledge behind me. The job took me to Bermuda from 2006-2008, back to France from 2008-2010. Then, when the company was bought out, I was asked to come here. All of this meant I naturally gravitated to the French Paradox.

Last year, I met Pierre for a game in Paris. Pierre had often spoken of Didier Vidal, or Dede, a friend and rugby player living in Paris and I’d wondered if I might know him. When he turned up to meet us he was, indeed, exactly the person I thought he would be! I didn’t know Dublin when I first met Pierre but now I’m thoroughly settled. My home and office are a 10-minute walk from the French Paradox so my passions for sport and good wine are catered to in a village atmosphere. Pierre was a point de chute, a landing! He’s my terra firma, his family the unit that operates here for me. The coffee is fresh too, as it would be in Paris, and that’s an extra.