‘I was riddled with anxiety’: Finding a way back after dropping out of school

“School doesn’t work for everyone,” says Eddie Manning, a staff member with Youthreach, an education, training and work programme aimed early school leavers aged 15-20 years of age.

For years the service has played a vital role in giving young people fresh opportunities to realise their potential outside the formal school system.

In more recent times the service has seen significant changes in its student profile.

“We used to get a lot of students with behavioural problems; students who fell behind in school and would rather be kicked out of school for acting the maggot than appearing that they didn’t know something,” says Manning, central coordinator at Youthreach in Swords.

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“Now we have a lot of students from different socioeconomic backgrounds with social anxiety, depression and mental health difficulties.”

Many students that come to the service have had trauma in their lives, adds Christine Hughes, coordinator of Youthreach services in Rush, Co Dublin.

“It might be bereavement or family separation, which has a knock-on effect on them in school. Others have educational difficulties like dyspraxia or dyslexia and they get into trouble for not getting their homework done properly and they disengage,” she explains.

[ Education service ‘almost invisible’ despite key role in tackling early school leaving ]

Some young people also struggle in an education system which has a very loaded curriculum and time pressure to deliver it, says Colm Feighery, deputy coordinator at Youthreach in Rush.

“We treat the students like adults. We are on first name basis and we see ourselves as facilitating their learning. There is none of the ‘sage on the stage’, so there is a huge sense of discovery for them and they see their own improvements with continuous based assessments,” says Feighery.

What do young people think about it? We spoke to three students at Youthreach in Rush who dropped out of school and found a way back into education through this alternative approach.

‘I was riddled with anxiety ... the teachers weren’t approachable’

Kelly Gilmartin (22)

Looking back, Kelly Gilmartin says that being part of the first intake of students at a new secondary school with her twin brother set her off on a very difficult path.

“I’m book smart and I enjoyed school but my brother went down a bad route – drinking and going wild with much older people – and I got the backlash for anything he did even though I was completely the opposite,” says Gilmartin, from Skerries, Co Dublin.

When her brother was expelled from school in third year, she also lost the motivation to continue going to school. “I was mitching a lot in second year but I stayed until third year and I did my Junior Certificate”, she explains.

Gilmartin says that she doesn’t agree with the approach to the Leaving Certificate. “Exams are what you remember on the day, not about what you know,” she says. She dropped out of school a few weeks into the senior cycle.

On reflection, Gilmartin says that she was “riddled with anxiety”: “The teachers weren’t approachable and some would say stuff that would really put you down. If you are sad or angry, there was no one to reach out to.”

Gilmartin joined Youthreach with a group of friends. “All of my friends were here. We had no structure in our lives. We used to go to parties and were mad into drugs and drinking when we were 16 or 17. We were so bonded because we were all doing the same thing. I thought there was no way out at one point,” she explains.

She credits the changes she has since made in her life to one-to-one counselling with a counsellor in a Foróige youth club. “I was living in my boyfriend’s house. I didn’t have an adult female figure in my life. She [the counsellor] made me realise that I had turned to drugs to hide from problems I didn’t realise I had.”

After completing level four in the Quality and Qualifications Ireland (QQI) in Youthreach, Gilmartin got a job as a catering assistant at Dublin Airport. The next year, she returned to Youthreach to do her QQI level five qualification. “I did business administration with modules on workplace safety, IT communications. There were all subjects that I could apply to my job which motivated me.”

Gilmartin now works as a supervisor in a restaurant and bar at Dublin Airport and is training to be a manager. She says the people skills and personal coping skills she learned while at Youthreach have stood to her.

“Everything I learned here, I applied. A lot of the people I came to Youthreach with are on the dole but I wanted to be the one that made it out. I had to break the cycle. I was the first person of my friends to get a job and drive a car.”

‘I was told I’d never amount to anything if I didn’t do well in the Junior Cert’

Isabella Leech (20)

Isabella Leech from Skerries, Co Dublin, says she felt “destroyed” from her time in school. She recalls comments teachers made to her when she was struggling to cope. “I was told I’d never amount to anything if I didn’t do well in the Junior Cert and the Leaving Certificate,” she says. “I thought that was what life was like. You are so young, so when adults say things to you, you think it must be true.”

She left one secondary school in north Dublin after her Junior Cert because she was “bullied quite badly”. She then attended another secondary school for a year before dropping out completely.

“I was angry and frustrated. I didn’t go in half the time. Then I spent most of the next year in my room. I was depressed and had no motivation to do anything.”

Leech started in Youthreach in Rush, Co Dublin when she was 16 and stayed for two years.

“I liked how small the classes were. There was no pressure to keep up with everyone and the teachers had time to get around to each of us. And there was no homework, which I loved,” she says.

In school, Leech had found herself often eating lunch on her own so she really appreciated the fact that staff and students shared a canteen at Youthreach and that she could sit with teachers if she wanted to at breaks.

Since finishing up at Youthreach in the summer of 2022, she has started training to be a hairdresser and also works in a cafe in Skerries.

“I wouldn’t have been able to talk to The Irish Times if I hadn’t come to Youthreach. I could barely order food before I came here. Now, I’ve got a job and am thinking about how I could have my own hair and beauty business sometime in the future.”

‘I didn’t like the pressure and how what points I got would define my future’

Killian Gregan (21)

Killian Gregan recalls sitting one exam in his Junior Certificate – after which he never went back to school.

“I suffered from a lot of anxiety and when I’d take a few days off, I’d be told how much I missed when I went back in. So I stopped going to school for months. I didn’t like the pressure and how what points I got would define my future,” says Gregan from Swords, Co Dublin.

He says that at the time he felt very angry and “came across as a d***head”. But, then he went for counselling and made an agreement with his mother that he’d change.

Gregan went to Youthreach in Swords to complete QQI level three and four qualifications. Based on continuous assessment modules designed for each student by Youthreach teachers, this self-directed approach to learning is complemented by one-on-one support.

Gregan says that this approach to learning suited him very well. Following his time in Youthreach, Gregan went to a college of further education with the view to going on to university to study medicine. However, he changed his mind about the course and is now working for a year while he reconsiders his third level education options for September 2023.

“Youthreach made a huge difference to me in terms of confidence and dealing with anxiety,” he explains. “The coordinator was very easy to talk to if you had a problem and the group work and presentations forced me to talk to people in a way that became very natural.”