A truly unique musical event is coming to Ireland this week. Entitled, Nights of Grief and Mystery, they are 2½-hour musical and poetry spectacles or ceremonies billed as “concerts for turbulent times”.
Describing the events, co-founders Stephen Jenkinson and musician Gregory Hoskins wrote: “We aren’t poets, maybe, but the evenings are poetic. They are musical and grave and raucous and stilling, which probably means they are theatrical. They are nights in which love letters to life are written and read aloud. There’s some boldness in them. They have that tone. These nights have the mark of our time upon them, and they’re timely, urgent, alert, steeped in mortal mystery. They’re quixotic. They have swagger.”
Stephen Jenkinson is a former director of palliative care counselling in Canada, with master’s degrees in Theology and Social Work. Today he describes himself as a culture activist, farmer and author. He is also the author of a number of books including Die Wise- A Manifesto for Sanity and Soul, which, according to Jenkinson “teaches the skills of dying, skills that have to be learned in the course of living deeply and well. Die Wise is for those who will fail to live forever.”
Speaking to The Irish Times ahead of the tour next month, Jenkinson said that the prospect of bringing the event to Ireland was “tremendously exciting, bordering on honour”. He also expressed nervousness at the thought of facing an Irish audience known worldwide for our love of words, music and chat.
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“The Irish do have a bit of a reputation when it comes to the chatter. You have some skillfulness in this regard. This is not widespread across the world — at least not in English-speaking countries. So, if you propose to speak to Irish people and charge them to do so, you know, you are kind of asking for it. You better stand and deliver when the time comes,” he said.
Ireland also has a reputation for doing death well with, for example, the legendary Irish wake. However, while we excel in the post-event perhaps we don’t talk about death and dying as much as we should in the years, months and days before it happens, meaning that most of us are utterly unprepared for what will be our ultimate major life event.
We are not alone in this according to Jenkinson. “I haven’t found to be honest and I am wide travelled by now … a culture that you would not call a small-scale indigenous culture who has even a passing resemblance to a working understanding of the place that death should properly have amongst the living. It’s that rare,” he said.
According to Jenkinson not talking about death is evident even in the words we use to describe death itself. We use preferred synonyms like “lost” or “passed” or “gone” to avoid words like dead, death or die.
“That’s the point of synonyms ... to take the edge off so that you don’t really notice, that you’re somehow seducing the idea that it’s no big deal. But Jesus surely to God dying is a big deal and properly should be regarded that way ... and it’s advisable to be unhinged when it comes to dying.”
He makes the point that if someone you love dies in a culture that is “illiterate on the matter”, then you are on your own left to “braille your way through the operation”.
“And of course, the secret whisper is ‘what shall become of you when it’s your turn?’ What’s the training? What’s the teaching? What’s the tuition that’s been available to you your life through, that reassures you that your dying is the way it’s supposed to go? [The] answer at least from my corner of the world is there isn’t much actually. So you’re flying solo, in a time when companionship would not be a bad idea,” he added.
Death is known as the great equaliser but if we continue to avoid or deny it then how prepared can we really expect to be when it comes? And it will, to us all.
Jenkinson described death in the west as the equivalent of “planning a big feast, but never shopping, going to the fridge or the larder and discovering that the mice had been there and there’s very little. That’s what dying in the west tends to be.”
He also believes that as citizens we all have obligations to our own death and these include first and foremost that we “see it coming from a long way off”.
We also have an obligation, he said, not to be dismissive or jocular about death and to “give it its due before it comes to call. You practice that by holding in proper regard the dying of people around you. Thankful that it’s not your turn but thankful that you’re let in on the tuition of it but it’s a costly tuition,” said Jenkinson.
He added that we also have an obligation “to practice dying, not to ‘tolerate’ but to practise as you would practise a deeply devoted understanding of life”.
Jenkinson agreed that practising dying could enhance your time of death, as he said you are “bound to be better off by not being ambushed”.
Practising dying or cultivating what Jenkinson refers to as “death wisdom” also enhances your day-to-day life, as it allows you to appreciate life and simply be grateful for being alive.
He asked if it was possible to “cultivate a sense of gratitude for being alive that’s not predicated on things ‘working out’ for you. Can you be grateful as a consequence of being alive, instead of a consequence of being a beneficiary of life? To the point where you become .... a benefactor to life. When other people see you in the throes of this kind of radicalising gratitude, there’s consequences for them simply by being exposed to it.
“What does that do to your sense of misery and dislocation? The answer is it challenges it, doesn’t it? It doesn’t mean everything’s fine for you. It simply means, ‘wow, life’s bigger than what you intend. Thank God.’”
According to Jenkinson, “death wisdom, as a practice, replaces grievances with grief, grief is not sadness …There are moments of sadness and grief, of course there are — but grief fundamentally is an understanding of life that lets life in. It doesn’t defend and protect you and insulate you from it. In other words, you could say grief is to be on the receiving end of the ‘oh my God-ness’ of it all. Such that when you approach the ending of your days, no matter how old you are, then you’re able to stand on a street corner while you can still stand, and you can look out across the broad hurly-burly of the arrangement and you can thank it.”
While the Jenkinson and Hoskins’ show is called “Nights of grief and mystery”, Jenkinson said “the whole thing is not about dying, not by any stretch at all. Dying is in there. It belongs in there, the way it belongs in life. But it’s not the only show in town. There’s many ways in which to engage and be engaged by the mystery of life, but one of them is to agree to be mystified and not come to every incarnation of mystery, as a gap in your understanding or problem for you to solve.”
He explained that the show also had “minstrel”, “bardic” and “prophetic hortatory” aspects to it, as well as conjuring and politics.
“It’s political. And it’s cultural. It’s in some fashion, sort of small-piece psychological, but mostly I would say it’s an old-time, medicinal … bit of trouble that you can dance to,” said Jenkinson.
A Night of Grief and Mystery combines stories and observations from Jenkinson drawn from his work in palliative care with original songs from Hoskins and the band, which includes Adam Bowman on drums, Colleen Hodgson on bass/vocals and Lisa Hodgson on keys/vocals.
The two artists have been exploring the intersection of their work for seven years, across three continents, through three recordings and two short films. And in September they will bring the shows to Ireland for the first time with events in Dublin, Sligo and Galway.
So what can audiences expect from a Night of Grief and Mystery? It’s a difficult concept to explain but it will include live music, poetry, mystery, magic and the spoken word. It will incorporate conversations about death and dying while also celebrating life. Above all else, it will make you think.
- The Nights of Grief and Mystery tour will be in Sligo on September 1st in The Avalon Centre, Chapel Street, Abbeyquarter North; in Galway at The Mick Lally Theatre on September 2nd, and in Dublin on September 3rd in the Smock Alley Theatre. Tickets are available on eventbrite.