‘Life is too short; it does not matter what age you are - you need to grab life’

About six months before Maura McAuliffe retired as a school principal, she started taking bridge lessons as part of her planning for retirement.

“I knew it was something I would enjoy. I liked playing cards anyway, but I hadn’t the opportunity when I was working to do these things,” says the mother of six, who lives in Killucan, Co Westmeath. “I just needed to find a [bridge] partner – one gets a partner in doing the lessons, and it went from there.”

An opportunity to play bridge was what then attracted her initially into her local Active Retirement Ireland (ARI) group. Years of fulfilment and friendship have followed. Currently chairperson of the organisation’s Midlands region, she embodies the “laugh more, stress less, live better” aim of a new wellbeing programme for older people that is to be rolled out in more than 450 ARI groups around the country.

The programme was conceived as a response to the lingering effects of the Covid-19 pandemic, says McAuliffe, who was on the steering committee for its development. They could see how people were very slow to come back out and participate in activities again in Covid’s wake. Yet, social interaction, which generates mental, cognitive and physical benefits, is a key component in a longer, healthier life.

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“Having poor social interaction is as bad for us from a heart disease perspective as not doing physical activity, or smoking, or alcohol excess or high cholesterol – that’s how toxic it is,” says geriatrician Prof Rose Anne Kenny. The science shows that branching out beyond our immediate family is important too.

“We are gregarious animals – we need other people. We have the selfish gene, which is preservation of our own kith and kin,” she explains. “But there is also the reciprocity hypothesis that we like to give to the wider community because that secures our place in that community. We need that security and that recognition for survival. So if we feel alone or not part of a group any more, for whatever reason, that is very bad for our physical health and survival.”

Well-intentioned health safety measures adopted during Covid are having long-term consequences which nobody had anticipated. Kenny sees these reflected both in research and her clinical practice.

As principal investigator of the Longitudinal Study on Ageing (Tilda) based in Trinity College Dublin, Kenny explains that the researchers saw loneliness go up threefold during the pandemic. In the latest wave of data, collected after the pandemic, it was still one and a half times more common than before Covid. “That is what I am seeing in my clinical practice. Some people are finding it very difficult to re-engage. When I talk to other colleagues across the board, this seems to be not just in older people – some young people are struggling with it as well.”

The findings on loneliness align with a similar, threefold increase in depression during Covid, she says, “as loneliness is a very common cause of depression”. Depression is also one and a half times more prevalent in the post-Covid data gathered by Tilda.

Meanwhile, almost a quarter of all prescriptions for anti-depressants in 2022 were for people aged 75 or older, according to the Health Service Executive. Figures obtained by The Irish Times this month show 932,207 prescriptions for anti-depressants were issued to people aged 75 or older last year, up 19 per cent on 2019, when 779,614 were issued. It seems emerging statistics are confirming the needs that ARI has identified within its own circles. A 16 per cent drop in its national membership, now standing at 20,000 compared with 24,000 pre-Covid, tells one story of how the impact of “cocooning” continues to shackle a segment of the older population.

[ ‘Loneliness is dangerous. It’s been likened to smoking 15 cigarettes a day’ ]

With funding from Mental Health Ireland, a wellbeing programme has been shaped in consultation with many of the 466 ARI groups around the country. (Before Covid, there were 550 groups.) Volunteers will be trained over the summer to start delivering it in the autumn. “We are calling it the wellbeing tool kit: it covers how to build resilience and confidence after lockdown, based on what older people have been doing since emerging late 2021,” says the chief executive of ARI, Maureen Kavanagh. Some have learnt to stress less after coping with the hardships of Covid, she suggests.

“Life is too short; it does not matter what age you are, you need to grab life and do what you can do to make it a good life for yourself and your communities.”

There is also a new appreciation of the value of laughter and fun. “That is what was missing from their lives,” says Kavanagh, who admits that if she had been doing this interview six months ago, she would not have been talking about “laughter” as a key priority. Its importance had emerged in consultations with members.

Indeed, laughter is just what the doctor orders, with its benefits hugely under-rated, says Kenny, author of Age Proof. “The science shows it is very good for reducing inflammation, for reducing stress hormones and upregulating hormones and neuro transmitters that are of huge benefit to the system.”

A good laugh is best shared, she agrees. “It is much better with others, and we have evolved to do that because laughter is a bonding process. We have evolved to laugh better with other people, and of course you are getting a double hit with that – not just the benefits of laughter but the benefits of socially engaging with another person.”

Kavanagh says another element of the wellbeing tool kit is encouraging people to look around their community and see who hasn’t come back. “What could you do – how could you extend the hand of friendship to see if they will come back? It may require a knock on the door.”

People to this day will say their local active retirement group has saved their life. It has given them something to do in their later years when their other social networks are reducing

—  Maureen Kavanagh

She understands social groups are not for everybody. But a lot of previously active members have said the lockdowns made them feel old, vulnerable and dependent. “Some have not been able to get over that.”

The first ARI group was set up in Dún Laoghaire, Co Dublin, 45 years ago as a social group. But these groups also function as wellbeing and quality-of-life clubs, points out Kavanagh.

“People to this day will say their local active retirement group has saved their life. It has given them something to do in their later years when their other social networks are reducing. After you leave work, your social networks tend to diminish quite severely. So ARI groups create the opportunity to bring together people in local communities to share, to have fun and to learn something new.”

She envisages three benefits from the wellbeing programme, which it is hoped groups will incorporate as regular sessions within their own menu of activities. Firstly, that individuals feel better after participating; secondly, that it helps local groups appreciate the role they play in how people age well. Thirdly, at a policy level, that the groups are regarded as a model of good health for older people, rather than going to the doctor to get a tablet.

“We are hoping as we develop this wellbeing programme, that the Department of Health will see it as worth funding in the future,” Kavanagh says. Local groups have always devised their own menu of activities, with physical activity such as walking, swimming or bowls important for the majority, she says. Regular outings or trips away are also popular.

I think social skills deteriorate if people are not day-to-day involved with people. They need a lot of encouragement to get up and go again

—  Maura McAuliffe

Pickleball, which McAuliffe describes as “a mix between badminton and tennis”, is common in her region, the Midlands. It is played by two or four people, with paddles and a light ball. Other activities include Pilates, basket-making and floristry.

ARI groups, which are open to anybody semi-retired or retired from paid or non-paid work, covers many of the pillars of positive ageing, such as friendship, purpose, laughter and physical and cognitive challenges. So what does McAuliffe see as barriers to participation?

“I think it is sometimes a lack of confidence, if people haven’t been working outside the home for a while and family have moved away. I think social skills deteriorate if people are not day-to-day involved with people.”

Bereavements and other events can set people back in their lives too, she points out. “They need a lot of encouragement to get up and go again.” She too stresses that medication is not necessarily the answer to depression.

“We would much prefer that they would become involved socially. All the research that has been done seems to show that social interaction is the main thing for keeping people on track and living longer.”

McAuliffe has found that being willing to take on responsibilities within a voluntary organisation such as ARI reaps its own rewards. “I took up officership not knowing anybody else on the committee, and over time I have grown to make friends, meet new people, and enjoyed all of that. That was certainly a very big benefit of becoming involved.”

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It has even reached her own doorstep. “Because I had been working all my life and not from this community originally [she is a ‘blow in’ to Westmeath, from Drumsna, Co Leitrim], there was a neighbour down the road who I had no interaction with, and now we are very closely connected.”

It all goes to show it is never too late to strike out and make new friends. And, as Kenny vouches, it is friends and relationships that “literally keep us alive”.

Frame of mind is crucial

Thanks to longer life expectancy, a quarter of a person’s life may now be spent “post-retirement”. Preparation usually concentrates on financial planning, but our frame of mind for this new phase of life is also crucial.

“Of course, financial security remains incredibly important and is one of the foundation stones upon which psychological wellbeing is built,” says clinical psychologist Dr Jillian Doyle, a member of the Psychological Society of Ireland. “However, the focus of planning has slowly begun to change and widen as individuals, employers and State bodies become more aware of the importance of psychological wellbeing and the factors that need to be considered in order to maintain good mental health.”

Here she offers 10 points to contemplate:

1. It is no harm to dream early about what you would most like to do in retirement. Out of these dreams you can begin to consider your values and life goals. Begin to plan ways to incorporate these in retirement so that it feels like a continuation of life rather than a stop and restart.

2. Throughout your working life, it is valuable to ensure that you are building emotional resilience and a sense of worth that is based on your whole self (for example, saying to yourself, “I am a person who is kind and has the ability to cope with adversity”), rather than focused on a narrow aspect of your identity (for example, your job role or fitness).

3. Be aware that small, everyday changes, such as no longer having to set your alarm, dress in a certain way or do things according to rules set by an employer, can leave people feeling out of place and aimless. This also goes for social changes, such as not having interactions with colleagues or people you previously encountered while going about your day.

4. Bigger challenges may include a crisis of identity and fears around getting old and not being able to do the things you love to do. There will inevitably be changes, for better or for worse, in relationships: with a partner, with adult children who may be raising their own children, and with friends. There is also a potential reckoning with some of life’s big questions, including loneliness, loss and death, which creates high levels of anxiety for most people.

5. Once retirement comes it is important to rest and take time before deciding what to do next. Having some plans can help people feel tethered, but too many plans can lead to feelings of pressure.

6. If you feel mobility is going to be an issue, you could try to link in with community supports at an early point to ensure your needs can be identified and met, assisting you to live a life that is in line with your values. Research suggests that being flexible with your identity and your environment results in a better adjustment than assuming that the world and your needs will automatically fit.

If there is an adult child living at home then their contribution to the home may need to be reconsidered after a parent retires

—  Dr Jillian Doyle

7. Retirement is not an end goal, rather a journey filled with lots of different challenges and triumphs. But you will remain you and so the activities, relationships and values that kept you healthy and happy at other points in life will continue to serve you well. You might need to be more flexible in your setting and achieving of goals so they are in line with your capacity. But if values are kept to the forefront, a person will have space to flourish no matter what their age.

8. As you move towards retirement it could be helpful to start conversations about boundaries and limits. Whether it is just one person in a couple who is retiring, or if both are going to be at home, it is important to think through the relationship and what needs to change, if anything. For some couples, retirement will provide a welcome opportunity to spend more time together. For others, that will put extra pressure on the relationship. Having an open discussion is always helpful so that the couple can reflect on what they want as individuals and as a pair. Formulating a plan should one of you become ill will also make it easier for the other person.

9. It is also important to think through and set boundaries in other important relationships, for example with adult children. If there is an adult child living at home then their contribution to the home may need to be reconsidered after a parent retires. In rural families with land, discussions may need to happen about who is going to help with the tasks of farming and what are the expectations about inheritance. Grandparents need to consider how active a role they would like, and are able, to take in their grandchildren’s lives, and how willing those children’s parents are to accept the part they would like to play.

10. Finally, it is okay to be “self-ish”. I always tune into this as being the capacity to keep an eye on, and meet, your own needs as well as the needs of others. This is an important behaviour for us all, and perhaps the older, wiser folk among us could take the lead in embodying it.

For details of the nearest Active Retirement Ireland group, see activeirl.ie or call head office on 01-8733836, which will also support the setting up of new groups